What do you do with a BA in English?

My Dear Reader Friend (MDRF),
I address you as such, with cautious optimism.  I find it increasingly difficult to believe that anyone really reads anymore.  I scroll through articles--mostly click-bait, and comments, and notice that very few people are in fact reading.  Instead they have made judgements and will champion those judgements despite all and any evidence to the contrary.  This observation has led me to a very important question.
What does one do with a BA in English?  I might additionally add, for my own benefit, What does one do with an MA in English?

This question is one that I have asked myself countless times, and will be answered in due course, but first I invite you to read on through several political, religious, and social metaphors, knowing that your reaction to this post will either confirm or refute my judgement that reading is an ability unused by most.

C. S. Lewis is most well known for his children's series, "The Chronicles of Narnia."  This allegory does a wonderful job of making difficult religious concepts comprehendible.  In the final book "The Last Battle" there is an ape and an ass.  The ape finds the skin of a lion and comes up with the grand idea of impersonating the lion god Aslan.  In the process he summons a false god named Tash.  Tash is a monstrous being with the body of a man, but the head and limbs of a bird.  Tash is destructive and elusive.  Rather than moving like an animal he is compared to smoke wafting through trees.
When Aslan finally does appear it is at the end of time, the entire world is destroyed, and with it, Tash.  I think an analogous relationship between Tash and Aslan would be found in Milton's "Paradise Lost" in which each false god on earth is actually a fallen angel in Satan's camp (Ra, Osiris, Hera, Zeus, etc).  Tash, similar to the fallen angels, is a real entity, but is not actually god-like in terms of its power or authority.  It operates only so long as it is allowed to.

I hope that the end of the world is similar to Lewis' description.  I hope that I get to see Tash, or any of the other false gods.  Their embodiment, to me is as important as seeing the actual Lion.

There are two Tashes that I'd like to see in particular; the first is Republican jesus, and the second is Democrat jesus.  These two have been very active during the past few months, and are the most prominent reason why I have lost faith in humanity's ability to read.

Republican jesus sounds like an absolute tool.  Based on the numerous "fundamental" and "inherent" christian beliefs that are being spouted on social media, I can only assume that Republican jesus is English speaking...probably white, most likely good looking--though he definitely consumes ridiculous amounts of fried food.  It is probably also fair to say that Republican jesus is going to show up wearing Bermuda shorts and boat shoes.

I didn't even have to photoshop the american flag in there.

One of the fundamental tenets of Republican jesus seems to be gun ownership and an aversion to poor people.  The stable into which he was born was probably more akin this:

"there is no room in the inn, but I have a gorgeous stable. *Actual stable in France."

Democrat jesus is no better.  Based upon the "fundamental" beliefs of this this jesus, it is really just a free-for-all.  We would be legalizing all sorts of things.  This jesus would show up in skinny jeans, and a yeezy shirt, with coke residue around his nostrils, telling everyone to just do what they want.  

I wasn't going to post a picture of Leo snorting coke...children might read this.  

In the end of time, once I've finished judging Republican jesus and Democrat jesus, I'm going to get to see one more Tash.  That would be Will-jesus.  Like the previous iterations he is going to be powerless.  However this one will throw me a big party, compliment me on my love of the monarchy and fine cheese before being swept into an eternal nothingness.  

wouldn't that party just be heaven?

Ohhhhhhh, or better yet, this example--

both pictures depict a poor people wanting to be aristocracy...just like me.  But I'm not going to die in the water.  There is room on that board for both of us.  

While all of creation gets sucked up into the void (or icy water--thanks Rose), actual Jesus is going to be standing at the head of a conference table with scores of angels sitting in front of him--each one frantically thumbing through a copy of the bible as if they were grad students trying desperately to find the exact quote they need to support an essay on their final exam.  The anxiety on all of their faces will be infuriating as they fail to find any mention of gun ownership, walls, or wanton abandonment of standards anywhere in the Bible.  

Actual Jesus will then address the angelic grad students, and ask, "We had one book.  How did so much misinformation spread with just one book?  It isn't like we rebooted it.  This isn't the spiderman franchise.  It was one book.  One book that stayed pretty much the same for thousands of years.  So what happened guys?"

Each of those angels will know exactly what happened.  In truth, so will Actual Jesus.  But he'll ask those questions to add legitimacy to my blog post.  :)

The answer is in a few short lines of Lewis' story.  

"It seems, then," said the Unicorn, "That there is a real Tash, after all."

"Yes," said the Dwarf. "And this fool of an Ape, who didn't believe in Tash, will get more than he bargained for! He called for Tash: Tash has come."  

This fool of an ape took something he didn't understand--probably because he stopped reading and citing his sources--and began calling for it.  Because of that stupidly ignorant act, Tash became real.  

So MDRF, I return to my original question.  What does one do with a BA in English?  One apparently reads.  

That is all.  

And in reading one will find the absolute absurdity of Tash, in any of its iterative appearances.  One will be so perturbed by each follower of Tash that one will simply invite others to go read some source material.  The source material is great, but be warned.  You will find no mention of political security, supreme court appointments, or recommendations for consequences on breaches in email protocol.  You'll find an inconvenient dearth of verses suggesting that you just do whatever feels nice, or pays for you or others to live such lives.   

You will find frequent instances of people being told to do better, to be better, and to try harder.  You will see them fail.  You'll also see them get back up and try again.  

More importantly, you'll see the value in leaving Tash out of it.  You'll see that for all your certainty you still know nothing.  Acknowledging your ignorance will make you want to read more. Reading more will prove to you that you need to go back, and re-read stuff again, just to verify that the new stuff you read in fact meshes with the old stuff you read.  This cycle is going to repeat itself.