Alright, don't get me wrong. I love the movie Skyfall. I think that this is by far the greatest James Bond movie in a long time. When the movie was over, and we were getting up to leave, my brother turned to me and said, "It is too bad that every time I heard a noise in the audience I was afraid that someone was coming in to shoot up the theater." This is probably a valid fear considering the unconscionable amount of shooting related events that have taken place over the last few months.
To be honest, I felt that the aforementioned fear was a bit dramatic for the setting, and then I remembered that we have had a terrible history of gun violence. I know that there has been a lot of discussion about gun control, and I don't know how deeply I want to dive into that debate, but I do want to give a few observations.
When i left the theater I noticed that each of the upcoming release posters were for movies with ultra-violent movies about guns. As I thought about the movie previews we saw before Skyfall I realized that each one of them were also for very violent movies.
Why do we want to try and outlaw guns? don't get me wrong, I think that too many people are able to get weapons, but--and here comes my soapbox--why do we always want to legalize responsibility? It is terrible that we think making a few gun restrictions will solve our problem, especially when we allow for all sorts of violent games, and movies to be broadcast, and advertised to children--and even adults with too impressionable mental capacities. Frankly why do we allow this sort of stuff at all?
I love James Bond, but it is terribly violent. I also love some of the video games that I saw being advertised, but they are all about gun violence.
I really believe that as long as we continue to perpetuate media in which violence is valorized we will only see more and more incidents of gun violence. Things will only get worse as long as society continues to support these types of media.
alright, rant over.
Much Love, Merry Christmas!
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
Monday, November 5, 2012
I hope that it stays like this for a while
I hope that the weather stays like this for a while. However morose it might seem, I love that a blanket of fog has settled over the city like an ikea duvet on my king size bed. It is gorgeous to look out of your window and see nothing but the hazy grey clouds as they settle listlessly over the city. The buildings that you do see seem to disappear towards the upper floors, and give off the impression that they will just continue upward indefinitely, and the lights from their windows ignites the entire sky making the whole city brighter, and almost makes it so one doesn't need to drive with headlights on. There are of course other reasons I love this weather. It is a totally appropriate excuse to just stay inside. It means that we are only weeks away from Christmas, and by extension snow, and by extension...again...vacation. It also means sweats. wait. what?
I'm just kidding, if there is one thing I HATE about this time of year it is that everyone suddenly thinks sweats are an appropriate substitute for pants. I'm pretty sure I've ranted about this before but can someone, anyone, please explain to me why people think that sweats are alright to wear around a campus, or an office or wherever.
Don't get me wrong, I totally understand going to the gym and wearing sweats, and then thinking "ohhh I forgot a belt, well it looks like I'm wearing sweats until I get home." I"ve done that once or twice, but as soon as the belt has been acquired the sweats come off and the pants come on.
My problem with sweats is that the vast majority of people I see wearing sweats, have not done just that. sweat. I can count on one hand the number of people who are at the gym while I am there. That is a pretty good indication that I shouldn't be counting 40 or 50 people walking around looking like they presently left the gym. The only other explanation is that they are lazy. Literally. 9 am is not early. I don't think I am asking too much of you to shower and present yourself with a modicum of self respect.
There are a few exceptions that I will explicate here. As far as I can tell, this list is complete, and unless you fall into one of these categories then I shouldn't see you in anything less than jeans.
1. pregnant women.
lets be honest, they get a pass because of thelife draining parasite miracle of life they have growing inside of them. Pregers women, you just go right on ahead doing whatever you want, and if you feel like eating a 7/11 chili dog at 8 in the morning, well you go right on ahead.
2. people on their way to the gym
If you are going to the gym, by all means, wear sweats. HOWEVER, that means you should probably adorn yourself in the appropriate aerobic accoutrement. Sweats, uggs, a hoodie, your purse, and a coffee do not gym clothes make. don't think you can just say, "ohhhh, I'm going to the gym later" that means jack squat. Later could be in 9 hours, and doesn't give you the right to walk around, un-showered, and disheveled for the entire day.
3. sick people
Sickos, you wear sweats, just don't leave your apartment. if you are sick enough to not get dressed, then you are probably sick enough that I don't want to see you.
I'm just kidding, if there is one thing I HATE about this time of year it is that everyone suddenly thinks sweats are an appropriate substitute for pants. I'm pretty sure I've ranted about this before but can someone, anyone, please explain to me why people think that sweats are alright to wear around a campus, or an office or wherever.
Don't get me wrong, I totally understand going to the gym and wearing sweats, and then thinking "ohhh I forgot a belt, well it looks like I'm wearing sweats until I get home." I"ve done that once or twice, but as soon as the belt has been acquired the sweats come off and the pants come on.
My problem with sweats is that the vast majority of people I see wearing sweats, have not done just that. sweat. I can count on one hand the number of people who are at the gym while I am there. That is a pretty good indication that I shouldn't be counting 40 or 50 people walking around looking like they presently left the gym. The only other explanation is that they are lazy. Literally. 9 am is not early. I don't think I am asking too much of you to shower and present yourself with a modicum of self respect.
There are a few exceptions that I will explicate here. As far as I can tell, this list is complete, and unless you fall into one of these categories then I shouldn't see you in anything less than jeans.
1. pregnant women.
lets be honest, they get a pass because of the
2. people on their way to the gym
If you are going to the gym, by all means, wear sweats. HOWEVER, that means you should probably adorn yourself in the appropriate aerobic accoutrement. Sweats, uggs, a hoodie, your purse, and a coffee do not gym clothes make. don't think you can just say, "ohhhh, I'm going to the gym later" that means jack squat. Later could be in 9 hours, and doesn't give you the right to walk around, un-showered, and disheveled for the entire day.
3. sick people
Sickos, you wear sweats, just don't leave your apartment. if you are sick enough to not get dressed, then you are probably sick enough that I don't want to see you.
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
The obligation to forgive
I was really excited to come to a catholic school. I sort of thought that it would be similar to that movie "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun" with Sarah Jessica Parker and Helen Hunt. It is on hulu, go watch it. In that movie there are nuns walking around all over the place making sure that everyone is being super diligent in their adherence to Catholic doctrine. You know what I'm talking about, real wrist-slapped-by-rulers sort of stuff. I am moderately disappointed that it isn't that way. In fact, the culture is probably a little in the opposite with very few people even thinking about religion.
I'll admit that religion is a pretty important aspect of my life, and it consumes most of my waking time. I am glad that it is that way, and as such I spend a lot of my day thinking about doctrine, scripture, and even applying those things to ultimately extreme and impractical situations. The benefit of this is that I have a very healthy understanding of doctrine. I know what makes sense in religion, and I know what doesn't make sense. I know which religions teach correct doctrine because I've been able to carry them to logical--though sometimes difficult--conclusions. It is at the point of these difficult and distant conclusions where the doctrines of many religions breaks down. If your God is breaking down, you probably need to have that checked, and by a different mechanic than the one you've been seeing.
Since religion is so much a part of my life I bring it into everything I study. Religion is one of the few things that seems to be applicable to all literature. One can't easily apply marxist theory to medieval texts because it is really not something that writers in that era would have understood. In the same light, it isn't fair to read early literature through a feminist lens because the idea of women's rights is a relatively recent development. I have seen too many times where scholars condemn a writer from the 14th, 15, or 16th century for not being "fair to women." I'm sorry, but that is a silly argument because you are condemning someone through a worldview that would have been as irrational to them, as theirs is to us.
Religion, on the other hand, is pretty consistent.
Last night, in class, we were discussion Samuel Johnson. That name might not be familiar to many of you, but your life has been affected by him in more ways that you can count. According to this site, your life has been affected by him in over 200,000 ways. He is the man behind the dictionary. Early in his career he discussed the issue of morality in art. How do we judge a work of art? what is the merit of a piece of literature? Is a book, or a painting, or music still a good thing, even if its creator is abhorrent?
I have my own ideas on these questions, but here are a few examples. And I think that as you answer these questions in relation to these various scenarios you'll see an interesting pattern within yourself. This is also very similar to a spam email that went around every couple of years. Here is a copy of it.
Scenario 1. This man has acted in over 30 movies, and has directed another 34. Many of these are extremely well done, and are consider amazing pieces of art. This man is Roman Polanski, and he has been charged with the sexual assault of a 13 year old girl.
Are these movies reprehensible? Should we destroy them and erase any mention of them from our records, including removing any awards they might have earned? most people will probably say no.
Scenario 2. This is one I faced in Germany all the time. When trying to speak about the merits of the Reformation, I would be interrupted and told, "Martin Luther was an alcoholic, and he beat his wife" Does that mean that the Reformation is reprehensible? Perhaps. It can be seen as a religious movement started by a man who abused individuals weaker than himself, and consumed alcohol at a disturbing and destructive rate. it doesn't exactly add credence to his religious arguments.
These are pretty easy examples, and I don't think that anyone would argue that Polanski's movies, or the reformation are terrible things and should be erased, and certainly the people in my class would agree with that.
Scenario 3 is where things got a bit tricky. There was a painter in Vienna during the early years of the 1900s. He wasn't anything too miraculous, at least by the standards of the time, but he did paint a ton. There are hundreds of paintings ascribed to him, and since his death many of them have been sold at private auctions for tens of thousands of dollars. That man was Adolf Hitler.
When I mentioned this to my class there was a bit of an uproar, "Of course we should condemn his work, he was a terrible man."
What we have just done in this situation is decided that the pain felt by a little girl, or from a wife is less significant than that felt by the Jews in concentration camps. I'm not saying that there isn't a magnitude difference, but pain is pain, and it was felt by each individual. 1< 6million might be a correct statement, but pain and abuse is still pain and abuse.
We have also decided that some crimes are more tolerable than others. It is okay to destroy the life of one individual, maybe even two, three, four, five or six. 6 million, on the other hand, is inexcusable. Where is the line drawn? This is ultimately why I mentioned going to a Catholic School, and religious doctrine because I think that being Christian requires us to reexamine the answer we would give to the questions in those scenarios.
I don't care what your preacher taught you, or what your ill conceived perceptions of God would argue(I say this because I've heard a lot of really confused preachers, and some pretty ridiculous ideas about God. None of them could be found in a bible, much less a book). Christ said, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6). The Savior drew the line at 1. Not two, or three, or ten thousand, or one hundred thousand, or six million. It is one. If we are truly Christians then Roman Polanski is just as guilty as Martin Luther is, and both of those men are just as guilty as Adolf Hitler. The crimes of one should be just as reprehensible as the crimes of the other.
At a different point the Savior taught, "But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses" (Mark 11:26). Furthermore, "I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (DC 64:10). Both of these scriptures teach EXACTLY the same thing. They are just worded slightly different. The lesson from all of these scriptures is that while the sins of these men should be disgusting to us, it doesn't mean that these men should be.
I encourage my readers to try some of these philosophical games. Ask yourself if you should forgive someone, or judge their work based on their shortcomings. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised what you find reprehensible and what you should or shouldn't. I also hope that you'll give some time to think about forgiving a little more. We each have an obligation to forgive because we've all offended someone in one way or another.
I'm going to end with a little statement I heard by a teacher. "I hope that when I'm walking to heaven I see that" Hitler, or Roman Polanski "are there. If God can forgive them, then certainly he can forgive me."
I'll admit that religion is a pretty important aspect of my life, and it consumes most of my waking time. I am glad that it is that way, and as such I spend a lot of my day thinking about doctrine, scripture, and even applying those things to ultimately extreme and impractical situations. The benefit of this is that I have a very healthy understanding of doctrine. I know what makes sense in religion, and I know what doesn't make sense. I know which religions teach correct doctrine because I've been able to carry them to logical--though sometimes difficult--conclusions. It is at the point of these difficult and distant conclusions where the doctrines of many religions breaks down. If your God is breaking down, you probably need to have that checked, and by a different mechanic than the one you've been seeing.
Since religion is so much a part of my life I bring it into everything I study. Religion is one of the few things that seems to be applicable to all literature. One can't easily apply marxist theory to medieval texts because it is really not something that writers in that era would have understood. In the same light, it isn't fair to read early literature through a feminist lens because the idea of women's rights is a relatively recent development. I have seen too many times where scholars condemn a writer from the 14th, 15, or 16th century for not being "fair to women." I'm sorry, but that is a silly argument because you are condemning someone through a worldview that would have been as irrational to them, as theirs is to us.
Religion, on the other hand, is pretty consistent.
Last night, in class, we were discussion Samuel Johnson. That name might not be familiar to many of you, but your life has been affected by him in more ways that you can count. According to this site, your life has been affected by him in over 200,000 ways. He is the man behind the dictionary. Early in his career he discussed the issue of morality in art. How do we judge a work of art? what is the merit of a piece of literature? Is a book, or a painting, or music still a good thing, even if its creator is abhorrent?
I have my own ideas on these questions, but here are a few examples. And I think that as you answer these questions in relation to these various scenarios you'll see an interesting pattern within yourself. This is also very similar to a spam email that went around every couple of years. Here is a copy of it.
Scenario 1. This man has acted in over 30 movies, and has directed another 34. Many of these are extremely well done, and are consider amazing pieces of art. This man is Roman Polanski, and he has been charged with the sexual assault of a 13 year old girl.
Are these movies reprehensible? Should we destroy them and erase any mention of them from our records, including removing any awards they might have earned? most people will probably say no.
Scenario 2. This is one I faced in Germany all the time. When trying to speak about the merits of the Reformation, I would be interrupted and told, "Martin Luther was an alcoholic, and he beat his wife" Does that mean that the Reformation is reprehensible? Perhaps. It can be seen as a religious movement started by a man who abused individuals weaker than himself, and consumed alcohol at a disturbing and destructive rate. it doesn't exactly add credence to his religious arguments.
These are pretty easy examples, and I don't think that anyone would argue that Polanski's movies, or the reformation are terrible things and should be erased, and certainly the people in my class would agree with that.
Scenario 3 is where things got a bit tricky. There was a painter in Vienna during the early years of the 1900s. He wasn't anything too miraculous, at least by the standards of the time, but he did paint a ton. There are hundreds of paintings ascribed to him, and since his death many of them have been sold at private auctions for tens of thousands of dollars. That man was Adolf Hitler.
When I mentioned this to my class there was a bit of an uproar, "Of course we should condemn his work, he was a terrible man."
What we have just done in this situation is decided that the pain felt by a little girl, or from a wife is less significant than that felt by the Jews in concentration camps. I'm not saying that there isn't a magnitude difference, but pain is pain, and it was felt by each individual. 1< 6million might be a correct statement, but pain and abuse is still pain and abuse.
We have also decided that some crimes are more tolerable than others. It is okay to destroy the life of one individual, maybe even two, three, four, five or six. 6 million, on the other hand, is inexcusable. Where is the line drawn? This is ultimately why I mentioned going to a Catholic School, and religious doctrine because I think that being Christian requires us to reexamine the answer we would give to the questions in those scenarios.
I don't care what your preacher taught you, or what your ill conceived perceptions of God would argue(I say this because I've heard a lot of really confused preachers, and some pretty ridiculous ideas about God. None of them could be found in a bible, much less a book). Christ said, "But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6). The Savior drew the line at 1. Not two, or three, or ten thousand, or one hundred thousand, or six million. It is one. If we are truly Christians then Roman Polanski is just as guilty as Martin Luther is, and both of those men are just as guilty as Adolf Hitler. The crimes of one should be just as reprehensible as the crimes of the other.
At a different point the Savior taught, "But if ye do not forgive, neither will your Father which is in heaven forgive your trespasses" (Mark 11:26). Furthermore, "I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive, but of you it is required to forgive all men" (DC 64:10). Both of these scriptures teach EXACTLY the same thing. They are just worded slightly different. The lesson from all of these scriptures is that while the sins of these men should be disgusting to us, it doesn't mean that these men should be.
I encourage my readers to try some of these philosophical games. Ask yourself if you should forgive someone, or judge their work based on their shortcomings. I think you'll be pleasantly surprised what you find reprehensible and what you should or shouldn't. I also hope that you'll give some time to think about forgiving a little more. We each have an obligation to forgive because we've all offended someone in one way or another.
I'm going to end with a little statement I heard by a teacher. "I hope that when I'm walking to heaven I see that" Hitler, or Roman Polanski "are there. If God can forgive them, then certainly he can forgive me."
Monday, October 29, 2012
The Patron Saint of Gyms
Did you know that today is the day of St. William? He is the patron saint of gym goers. He has a truly remarkable story.
It was on this day 200 years ago that St. William decided to go to the gym. Now, a lot of people will tell you that the miracle stops there, because he was more of the scholastic type and, like Paul the Apostle felt that bodily exercise was overrated. For many practitioners this is where the story ends, simply because it is fantastic enough that he went to the gym, and that such a simple action was enough to get him canonized. However, such an assumption shows a lack of faith in St. William as his story gets even better. While doing the bench press he uttered this simple prayer,
"Oh God, please let me accomplish 2 reps at 165"
His spotter heard this, and took it to mean that St. William didn't need any help. Typical with most bench press experiences, his elbows, shaking from the stress of the weight, buckled inversely and the 45lb bar, descending with the speed of an african swallow, decapitated him. It was only a 45lb bar because his shaking was so furious that it actually wiggled the plates free of the bar, forcing them to fall to the ground with a thud much akin to a timpani.
His head rolled to the ground, and to the shock of all the other attendees still mumbled the simple prayer over and over. That isn't even the weird part, because someone once said that Mary Tudor, on her beheading, was still mumbling too. Apparently that is the thing to do, and for your decapitation to have any lasting effect you've got to keep mumbling once it is over. note to self.
The miracle occurred when his body, then headless, jumped up from the bench, knocked out ten pushups, one pull-up, and ran for six miles before collapsing in a heap in the library at the University he was attending in the German city of Hubschrauberlandplatz. This heap was of course tidy, and well groomed because despite being headless he still had a sense of decorum (this means he stretched, showered and got dressed, all without a head on his body). His head was put on display in the gym, where the uncharacteristically humid climate--seriously people stop breathing so hard--forced his head to decay faster than anticipated. His body remained in the library, well preserved, for decades. That is, until one attentive librarian noticed he had been there for far longer than it actually took at complete a bachelor's degree. She walked over to the body and discovered that it had carved the prayer into the desk he was sitting at.
This desk became a pilgrimage spot, and was way better attended than any other.
To this day St. William watches over those who attempt to reach his coveted 2 reps at 165. Certainly he must have been helping me in the gym, but I think he must have been distracted...maybe texting, or watching a recap of the Giants' win last night, because he was not paying very much attention to my strugglings, even though I uttered that prayer like a boss the whole time.
It was on this day 200 years ago that St. William decided to go to the gym. Now, a lot of people will tell you that the miracle stops there, because he was more of the scholastic type and, like Paul the Apostle felt that bodily exercise was overrated. For many practitioners this is where the story ends, simply because it is fantastic enough that he went to the gym, and that such a simple action was enough to get him canonized. However, such an assumption shows a lack of faith in St. William as his story gets even better. While doing the bench press he uttered this simple prayer,
"Oh God, please let me accomplish 2 reps at 165"
His spotter heard this, and took it to mean that St. William didn't need any help. Typical with most bench press experiences, his elbows, shaking from the stress of the weight, buckled inversely and the 45lb bar, descending with the speed of an african swallow, decapitated him. It was only a 45lb bar because his shaking was so furious that it actually wiggled the plates free of the bar, forcing them to fall to the ground with a thud much akin to a timpani.
His head rolled to the ground, and to the shock of all the other attendees still mumbled the simple prayer over and over. That isn't even the weird part, because someone once said that Mary Tudor, on her beheading, was still mumbling too. Apparently that is the thing to do, and for your decapitation to have any lasting effect you've got to keep mumbling once it is over. note to self.
The miracle occurred when his body, then headless, jumped up from the bench, knocked out ten pushups, one pull-up, and ran for six miles before collapsing in a heap in the library at the University he was attending in the German city of Hubschrauberlandplatz. This heap was of course tidy, and well groomed because despite being headless he still had a sense of decorum (this means he stretched, showered and got dressed, all without a head on his body). His head was put on display in the gym, where the uncharacteristically humid climate--seriously people stop breathing so hard--forced his head to decay faster than anticipated. His body remained in the library, well preserved, for decades. That is, until one attentive librarian noticed he had been there for far longer than it actually took at complete a bachelor's degree. She walked over to the body and discovered that it had carved the prayer into the desk he was sitting at.
This desk became a pilgrimage spot, and was way better attended than any other.
To this day St. William watches over those who attempt to reach his coveted 2 reps at 165. Certainly he must have been helping me in the gym, but I think he must have been distracted...maybe texting, or watching a recap of the Giants' win last night, because he was not paying very much attention to my strugglings, even though I uttered that prayer like a boss the whole time.
Friday, October 26, 2012
You ate how many calories?! Well it looks like I'm not getting any work done today.
I wish to talk about something very serious today. a disease is plaguing our society, and I believe I am to be the voice for this underrepresented and ostracized community within society. Sleep-eaters. The true tragedy of society is the fact that so many people don't understand this devastating effects of this disease. It is often relegated to the back of the classroom, while the cool kids; sleep walking, and night terrors, get to sit up at the front. Before we discuss the truly easy cure for this disease, let me share with you the plight of one man, S (I told you he couldn't keep crazy to himself for very long).
Last night, after what I considered to be a really productive day, I decided to reward myself by buying me a treat--salt and vinegar chips. This quick trip to the grocery store resulted in three heads of red leaf lettuce, sun dried tomatoes, and all the ingredients for two recipes, one of which I will detail shortly. It also included chips, which I almost forgot was the reason I went in the store in the first place until I was standing at the checkout counter.
I had spent a little bit of time on pinterest, and can safely say that I am responsible for the birth of this little recipe, which is an amalgamation of two things I saw on the site; shepherds pie, and a cheesy something-or-other.
1 1/2 lb of ground beef
1 onion
1 bag tater tots
1 can cream of celery soup
parsley
cheese
salt and pepper to taste
saute the beef, onion and seasoning. mix in the celery soup. Pour that all over the tater tots. cover with cheese and bake at 350 until you just can't wait any longer. Then eat.
this actually made my house smell amazing, so while I was watching a mid-week movie with S I just kept thinking that it didn't matter how late it was, I was starving. There was something magical about the parsley and onion, and there was the faint smell of burning cheese, which for some reason brings back memories of childhood.
I used my largest casserole dish to make this meal, which was only barely adequate. Furthermore, I only had one tupperware container large enough to hold it all in the fridge. Being the paragon of self control, I decided it was against my best interest to eat something so great so late at night, so I simply wrapped it all up and put it in the fridge, and went to sleep with the calm assurance that I would have a great meal the next day. And when I say, "the next day" I mean the next day. leftovers don't last long in my house. B usually takes some to school for lunch, as do I, and S, eats whenever he is home.
I will freely admit that my drive home was full of anticipation for this meal because I could remember how great it smelled while it was cooking. I walked into my kitchen, and for the first time in a long time, all three of us were home. B, eating cereal, and S cleaning the dishes. This was pleasant, because we don't often get to hang out, and while I at first saw this as a blessing towards greater fraternity and camaraderie I realized, only much later, that it was, in fact, the swift arm of justice, gathering us together to officiate the most meaningful witch hunt since those tolerant spanish monks burned those terrible women for....whatever it was I'm sure they did.
After putting down all of my gear I walked to the fridge to grab some of the leftovers.
"uhhhhhhh guys. who ate all the casserole?" I asked, truly puzzled. That was a lot of food, and I was a little concerned that it was gone. I looked around to see if it had maybe just been left on the counter. I noticed that B hadn't even taken off his backpack before burying his face in a bowl of churro cereal. Cereal wasn't desert, that was the main course, so I assumed he hadn't eaten any of it.
"I didn't!" exclaimed B. I took some of the other leftovers for lunch today.
"I didn't either" chimed in S.
Clearly we were in the midst of a conundrum. If I hadn't eaten it, and B hadn't eaten it, and S hadn't eaten, then WHY IN THE FREAKIN' HECK WASN'T THERE ANY FOOD IN MY FRIDGE!
This little dialogue continued for several minutes. I explained that there were two separate containers, and that when I left this this morning, both of them were full of food. Now there was only one contained of food. S admitted that he had "tried" some of the casserole, but that he promised he didn't eat it all.
After some very convincing visual demonstrations and reenactments on my part, it was determined that S, in fact, had eaten the entire casserole.
What is truly frightening about this is not the fact that S ate a lb and a half of beef, a huge bag of tater tots, soup, onion, etc, AND a lb of cheese. No, no. The frightening thing is that he apparently did this all without knowing about it.
You are probably asking yourself, "but what can I do? I am just one person, and this problem seems so vast, and has been neglected for so long. Surely we can't correct it now." On the contrary. There is something you can do. please send all the cash and food you have to me. I love cooking, and I love that my roommates love my food, but if I'm going to be feeding, what is essentially the metabolisms of two teenage boys, AND a sleep eater, all while feeding myself, I'm going to need a few more hours in the day, plus another job. The money thing isn't so much an issue. the issue is that baking takes up a lot of time, and when I bake, I tend to use it as an excuse to not do anything else. I inevitably say to myself, "Ohhhhh I can't possible read my homework in the kitchen. what if something splatters and ruins my used textbook? I'll never be able to sell it back for $3. Then where would I be?"
That is the problem. And as you can see from the time stamp, it is almost 3AM, and I've done jack-squat today, in the way of homework. Writing this post didn't help either, so I should probably just finish and go to bed.
Last night, after what I considered to be a really productive day, I decided to reward myself by buying me a treat--salt and vinegar chips. This quick trip to the grocery store resulted in three heads of red leaf lettuce, sun dried tomatoes, and all the ingredients for two recipes, one of which I will detail shortly. It also included chips, which I almost forgot was the reason I went in the store in the first place until I was standing at the checkout counter.
I had spent a little bit of time on pinterest, and can safely say that I am responsible for the birth of this little recipe, which is an amalgamation of two things I saw on the site; shepherds pie, and a cheesy something-or-other.
1 1/2 lb of ground beef
1 onion
1 bag tater tots
1 can cream of celery soup
parsley
cheese
salt and pepper to taste
saute the beef, onion and seasoning. mix in the celery soup. Pour that all over the tater tots. cover with cheese and bake at 350 until you just can't wait any longer. Then eat.
this actually made my house smell amazing, so while I was watching a mid-week movie with S I just kept thinking that it didn't matter how late it was, I was starving. There was something magical about the parsley and onion, and there was the faint smell of burning cheese, which for some reason brings back memories of childhood.
I used my largest casserole dish to make this meal, which was only barely adequate. Furthermore, I only had one tupperware container large enough to hold it all in the fridge. Being the paragon of self control, I decided it was against my best interest to eat something so great so late at night, so I simply wrapped it all up and put it in the fridge, and went to sleep with the calm assurance that I would have a great meal the next day. And when I say, "the next day" I mean the next day. leftovers don't last long in my house. B usually takes some to school for lunch, as do I, and S, eats whenever he is home.
I will freely admit that my drive home was full of anticipation for this meal because I could remember how great it smelled while it was cooking. I walked into my kitchen, and for the first time in a long time, all three of us were home. B, eating cereal, and S cleaning the dishes. This was pleasant, because we don't often get to hang out, and while I at first saw this as a blessing towards greater fraternity and camaraderie I realized, only much later, that it was, in fact, the swift arm of justice, gathering us together to officiate the most meaningful witch hunt since those tolerant spanish monks burned those terrible women for....whatever it was I'm sure they did.
After putting down all of my gear I walked to the fridge to grab some of the leftovers.
"uhhhhhhh guys. who ate all the casserole?" I asked, truly puzzled. That was a lot of food, and I was a little concerned that it was gone. I looked around to see if it had maybe just been left on the counter. I noticed that B hadn't even taken off his backpack before burying his face in a bowl of churro cereal. Cereal wasn't desert, that was the main course, so I assumed he hadn't eaten any of it.
"I didn't!" exclaimed B. I took some of the other leftovers for lunch today.
"I didn't either" chimed in S.
Clearly we were in the midst of a conundrum. If I hadn't eaten it, and B hadn't eaten it, and S hadn't eaten, then WHY IN THE FREAKIN' HECK WASN'T THERE ANY FOOD IN MY FRIDGE!
This little dialogue continued for several minutes. I explained that there were two separate containers, and that when I left this this morning, both of them were full of food. Now there was only one contained of food. S admitted that he had "tried" some of the casserole, but that he promised he didn't eat it all.
After some very convincing visual demonstrations and reenactments on my part, it was determined that S, in fact, had eaten the entire casserole.
What is truly frightening about this is not the fact that S ate a lb and a half of beef, a huge bag of tater tots, soup, onion, etc, AND a lb of cheese. No, no. The frightening thing is that he apparently did this all without knowing about it.
You are probably asking yourself, "but what can I do? I am just one person, and this problem seems so vast, and has been neglected for so long. Surely we can't correct it now." On the contrary. There is something you can do. please send all the cash and food you have to me. I love cooking, and I love that my roommates love my food, but if I'm going to be feeding, what is essentially the metabolisms of two teenage boys, AND a sleep eater, all while feeding myself, I'm going to need a few more hours in the day, plus another job. The money thing isn't so much an issue. the issue is that baking takes up a lot of time, and when I bake, I tend to use it as an excuse to not do anything else. I inevitably say to myself, "Ohhhhh I can't possible read my homework in the kitchen. what if something splatters and ruins my used textbook? I'll never be able to sell it back for $3. Then where would I be?"
That is the problem. And as you can see from the time stamp, it is almost 3AM, and I've done jack-squat today, in the way of homework. Writing this post didn't help either, so I should probably just finish and go to bed.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Eye-herpes. Well that can't be good. AND gym rants
Ladies and Gentlemen. It is confirmed, I have eye-herpes. Actually, it isn't confirmed at all, but I do look vaguely similar to Sylvester Stallone after filming all the Rocky movies. For some reason my eyelid is swollen as if I just got the crap punched out of me. Since I haven't been doing any fighting, we're going with the next logical explanation. Eye-herpes (i'm sure there are actually a hundred other possibilities, but none of them are as cool as this one). Don't worry, I doubt it is contagious...since I have no idea how I got it or what it even is. E, my dr. in training, helped me do a little research through a-more-reputable-source-than-webMD. She decided it was also not eye-herpes, but couldn't decide if it was something more serious. Her prognosis, "if the swelling doesn't go down in a day or two, I'd suggest you go see a real doctor and have them prescribe you something." That seemed like sound advice, so here I am, just waiting for the eye-herpes to wane away.
It hasn't affected me like I thought eye-herpes would. I mean, when I get a cold sore it is painful, and I would rather not go outside or do anything at all. I sort of feel like a cold sore is a carte blanche to give up on life for a few weeks, I mean, no one wants to be seen walking around with open sores on their lips. It is like Leprosy, but less cool because it is more common and less severe, ugh, what I'd give to see someone with leprosy.
Anyway, as I was saying. Eye-herpes didn't make me want to give up on life at all. I even went to the gym this morning, and here is where my rant comes in.
Our gym facilities have a wall with three televisions facing several rows of cardio machines. I'll admit that sometimes it bothers me when I see a 50 year old stair climbing in front of a television set to Nick Jr. It seems a little odd, and it is slightly inconsiderate because it now means that one less tv can be tuned into something that would be beneficial to the gym population (similar programs that are deleterious to my health; the Food network, QVC, and Charmed--which, for some reason, TNT broadcasts every morning as if they just received this show from some nuclear bunker, and the CEO falsely assumes that no one has ever seen it before and is running a marathon of it. Seriously TNT, get some new shows!). While it might be slightly annoying to occasionally glance at the screen showing Nick Jr. because my shows are on a commercial break for cathode services (again, there isn't much on television in the morning except for AARP commercials, diabetes informercials, and Charmed. It must suck getting old) it all pales in comparison to what has happened the last few days.
Around 8 am an elderly gentleman wearing a track suit from the 1980's walks in, grabs the remote, and proceeds to change every television in the room to his shows. I don't really have a problem watching sports highlights-it gives me something to talk with S about. I don't really care which news show I watch--they are all talking about politics, and whether I hear it from one source or another, I'm still going to hate the candidates by the end anyway. What bugs me is that this guy changes the channels and then walks out of the gym! He doesn't get on the machines, and watch any of the televisions, he just leaves and goes down to walk around the track with--what I assume is a geriatric speed waddling group. Fox news isn't for everyone, and I totally understand not being interested in Charmed, which, since I don't have volume I'm unable to follow the story accurately but I can safely say that I think someone has gotten kidnapped by some D-list actors, and is being held in a poorly computer generated ice prison. All of this is beside the point. I just don't get why it is so offensive for this guy that anyone else wants to watch these shows. Who made him the police of media consumption? I most certainly didn't vote for him.
Oh well, there isn't much I can do about it, except feel pity while he waddles around the track getting angry that my Charmed stars just broke their buddy out of the ice prison. Happy jogging, and enjoy your eye-herpes. I'm off to start some homework I procrastinated over the break.
It hasn't affected me like I thought eye-herpes would. I mean, when I get a cold sore it is painful, and I would rather not go outside or do anything at all. I sort of feel like a cold sore is a carte blanche to give up on life for a few weeks, I mean, no one wants to be seen walking around with open sores on their lips. It is like Leprosy, but less cool because it is more common and less severe, ugh, what I'd give to see someone with leprosy.
Anyway, as I was saying. Eye-herpes didn't make me want to give up on life at all. I even went to the gym this morning, and here is where my rant comes in.
Our gym facilities have a wall with three televisions facing several rows of cardio machines. I'll admit that sometimes it bothers me when I see a 50 year old stair climbing in front of a television set to Nick Jr. It seems a little odd, and it is slightly inconsiderate because it now means that one less tv can be tuned into something that would be beneficial to the gym population (similar programs that are deleterious to my health; the Food network, QVC, and Charmed--which, for some reason, TNT broadcasts every morning as if they just received this show from some nuclear bunker, and the CEO falsely assumes that no one has ever seen it before and is running a marathon of it. Seriously TNT, get some new shows!). While it might be slightly annoying to occasionally glance at the screen showing Nick Jr. because my shows are on a commercial break for cathode services (again, there isn't much on television in the morning except for AARP commercials, diabetes informercials, and Charmed. It must suck getting old) it all pales in comparison to what has happened the last few days.
Around 8 am an elderly gentleman wearing a track suit from the 1980's walks in, grabs the remote, and proceeds to change every television in the room to his shows. I don't really have a problem watching sports highlights-it gives me something to talk with S about. I don't really care which news show I watch--they are all talking about politics, and whether I hear it from one source or another, I'm still going to hate the candidates by the end anyway. What bugs me is that this guy changes the channels and then walks out of the gym! He doesn't get on the machines, and watch any of the televisions, he just leaves and goes down to walk around the track with--what I assume is a geriatric speed waddling group. Fox news isn't for everyone, and I totally understand not being interested in Charmed, which, since I don't have volume I'm unable to follow the story accurately but I can safely say that I think someone has gotten kidnapped by some D-list actors, and is being held in a poorly computer generated ice prison. All of this is beside the point. I just don't get why it is so offensive for this guy that anyone else wants to watch these shows. Who made him the police of media consumption? I most certainly didn't vote for him.
Oh well, there isn't much I can do about it, except feel pity while he waddles around the track getting angry that my Charmed stars just broke their buddy out of the ice prison. Happy jogging, and enjoy your eye-herpes. I'm off to start some homework I procrastinated over the break.
Friday, October 19, 2012
I don't care who you vote for, you are wrong.
Some of you might be reading this because you are curious about the title. You probably opened up facebook, noticed that I had digressed from my typical comedic tone, and now you're trapped. Facebook has been ablaze with political rants, and commentary. Each person posts something about a candidate hoping that it is going cause their friends to sit up and say, "well I was wrong, and my candidate is an idiot, and I'm going to vote for the other guy because he is honest and is the only one who can get our country back on the right track." To you, and each of you I say, I don't care who you vote for, you are wrong. Let me explain why I can say that with the same surety as when I say, "I'm going to go and take a nap after this." The reason is that I know 100% why you are wrong, and why I'm going to take a nap.
It might be easiest to do this with a video clip.
Alright. This isn't the exact video I wanted to show, but it is close enough. Recently I saw a clip from a show similar to this, about a man in Nebraska who trains people to be their own private military in case the political system fails. He is sure that our societal infrastructure will crumble, and so he wants to be ready to protect his family from the roaming bands of robbers and rapists that will inevitably ensue. In his defense he has probably watched Waterworld, or Mad Max, or some other apocalyptic movie one too many times, and is subsequently convinced that Hollywood's fiction can only be prophetic. In each of these scenarios society crumbles and each person is left to fight for themselves.
While a lot of you are reading this thinking, "yeah those crazies terrify me too" you probably think that the answer is to make sure your candidate gets elected. For this reason you are just as much of an idiot as the people who are getting ready to live like it is a movie, and you terrify me just as much. The reason for this is that you fail to understand how politics and society work(and the relationship between the two).
If you really understand government, then you know that it is as lasting as a wisp of smoke. It stands only as long as we allow the ember to keep going. It stops only when we smolder the ember. There will be no political apocalypse where there are no police, or other civic organizations because, as long as we continue to agree that they exist, they will. Does this make sense to you?
Think about this. If you started speeding down the road then a cop might pull out and turn on his lights, and try and pull you over. You don't need to stop. You stop because you have said the pledge of allegiance, and have decided that you are going to live in our society and abide by the laws. If everyone gets together and decides that the speed limit on the road doesn't work then we can change it. we all gather together and decide on what the change is.
Even if a disease, or a bomb, or a terror group comes in and wipes out, destroys, takes over Washington DC; society will continue to function as it always has as long as we continue to abide by the laws we've already committed to live by (when we spoke the pledge of allegiance). Politics does not decide how society works, society decides how politics works(that might sound overly simplistic, but it holds).
So now that I've laid out my analogy, lets look at politics. It really doesn't make that much of a difference which candidate you vote for. Sure, each one has their soapboxes, and each one is going to fight for,or against certain things, but very little will change. No candidate can accomplish anything in 4 years. That is the safety protocol put in place by the founding fathers. Even in 8 years, or 12 years, or 16 or 20, not much can change, because we don't have a king with absolute power, we have a democracy with hundreds of individuals voicing their opinions. Obama is not going to make you healthier, and his plans for healthcare reform won't make that big of a change in the long run. Romney will not bring america back to a Gilded age of American economic standing where everyone owes us money, and we all live like the Carnegies and Vanderbilts. They just can't do it. The only way it would happen is if we had a completely unanimous Executive, Judiciary, and Legislative branches of government.
So please, for the love of all that is Holy, stop writing about how Obama is the antichrist spoken of in the book of Revelations, stop blaming Romney for getting rich off of the poor. it isn't his fault that the housing market crashed. Really, just stop this mudslinging. It isn't productive. It only shows how much of an idiot you are because you, like the apocalyptic nut job, are showing that you believe government to be all powerful.
Think back to JFK who said, "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." What he was trying to remind people is that government and society work from the ground up.
There are going to be those of you who disagree with me. I pity you. I would invite you to go back and read my post on legalizing responsibility. Society is falling apart. Our economy is in the toilet, divorce rates are through the roof. we spend more time worrying about hollywood and athletics than we do about education. GOVERNMENT CAN'T FIX THIS. it isn't their responsibility, and there is really nothing they can do. If you have more debt than you can pay off, there is any easy solution. stop spending money. If your marriage is failing, well maybe it has to do with the fact that you spend more time on FB complaining about your relationship then in the other room talking with your spouse (or maybe because you're in one room looking at porn while your wife is in the other room sobbing). Whatever your problem is, stop blaming other people (and governments, and churches, and schools, and stop expecting them to fix it, and get off your butt and go do something about it.
some of you are probably saying, "well Willhelm, why don't you get off your computer and go fix it" To you I answer that I know what my issues are. They are mine. I am working on them. I am well aware of the fact that I owe my parents thousands of dollars, as well as the 40 grand in student loans. That thought is painfully apparent to me, and when I am driving down the road and I get hungry and I think "ohhhh I want a big mac (or whatever it may be)" I remember that I owe someone else money, so what do I do? I go hungry for a few more hours.
Here is my challenge to my readers. Think about what ails you. This is going to take some time. I want you to write it down on a sheet of paper. I want you to take each of your problems and track its origin. This is the easy part, because it will always come back to you. if it doesn't then you've done something wrong, or you haven't gone far enough. Then I want you to track what the solution is going to be SPOILER it is going to be you again END SPOILER.
thanks for putting up with me while I rant. I'm sure that it might have been a little disjointed, but I think I pretty cohesively brought it all together.
It might be easiest to do this with a video clip.
Alright. This isn't the exact video I wanted to show, but it is close enough. Recently I saw a clip from a show similar to this, about a man in Nebraska who trains people to be their own private military in case the political system fails. He is sure that our societal infrastructure will crumble, and so he wants to be ready to protect his family from the roaming bands of robbers and rapists that will inevitably ensue. In his defense he has probably watched Waterworld, or Mad Max, or some other apocalyptic movie one too many times, and is subsequently convinced that Hollywood's fiction can only be prophetic. In each of these scenarios society crumbles and each person is left to fight for themselves.
While a lot of you are reading this thinking, "yeah those crazies terrify me too" you probably think that the answer is to make sure your candidate gets elected. For this reason you are just as much of an idiot as the people who are getting ready to live like it is a movie, and you terrify me just as much. The reason for this is that you fail to understand how politics and society work(and the relationship between the two).
If you really understand government, then you know that it is as lasting as a wisp of smoke. It stands only as long as we allow the ember to keep going. It stops only when we smolder the ember. There will be no political apocalypse where there are no police, or other civic organizations because, as long as we continue to agree that they exist, they will. Does this make sense to you?
Think about this. If you started speeding down the road then a cop might pull out and turn on his lights, and try and pull you over. You don't need to stop. You stop because you have said the pledge of allegiance, and have decided that you are going to live in our society and abide by the laws. If everyone gets together and decides that the speed limit on the road doesn't work then we can change it. we all gather together and decide on what the change is.
Even if a disease, or a bomb, or a terror group comes in and wipes out, destroys, takes over Washington DC; society will continue to function as it always has as long as we continue to abide by the laws we've already committed to live by (when we spoke the pledge of allegiance). Politics does not decide how society works, society decides how politics works(that might sound overly simplistic, but it holds).
So now that I've laid out my analogy, lets look at politics. It really doesn't make that much of a difference which candidate you vote for. Sure, each one has their soapboxes, and each one is going to fight for,or against certain things, but very little will change. No candidate can accomplish anything in 4 years. That is the safety protocol put in place by the founding fathers. Even in 8 years, or 12 years, or 16 or 20, not much can change, because we don't have a king with absolute power, we have a democracy with hundreds of individuals voicing their opinions. Obama is not going to make you healthier, and his plans for healthcare reform won't make that big of a change in the long run. Romney will not bring america back to a Gilded age of American economic standing where everyone owes us money, and we all live like the Carnegies and Vanderbilts. They just can't do it. The only way it would happen is if we had a completely unanimous Executive, Judiciary, and Legislative branches of government.
So please, for the love of all that is Holy, stop writing about how Obama is the antichrist spoken of in the book of Revelations, stop blaming Romney for getting rich off of the poor. it isn't his fault that the housing market crashed. Really, just stop this mudslinging. It isn't productive. It only shows how much of an idiot you are because you, like the apocalyptic nut job, are showing that you believe government to be all powerful.
Think back to JFK who said, "ask not what your country can do for you, ask what you can do for your country." What he was trying to remind people is that government and society work from the ground up.
There are going to be those of you who disagree with me. I pity you. I would invite you to go back and read my post on legalizing responsibility. Society is falling apart. Our economy is in the toilet, divorce rates are through the roof. we spend more time worrying about hollywood and athletics than we do about education. GOVERNMENT CAN'T FIX THIS. it isn't their responsibility, and there is really nothing they can do. If you have more debt than you can pay off, there is any easy solution. stop spending money. If your marriage is failing, well maybe it has to do with the fact that you spend more time on FB complaining about your relationship then in the other room talking with your spouse (or maybe because you're in one room looking at porn while your wife is in the other room sobbing). Whatever your problem is, stop blaming other people (and governments, and churches, and schools, and stop expecting them to fix it, and get off your butt and go do something about it.
some of you are probably saying, "well Willhelm, why don't you get off your computer and go fix it" To you I answer that I know what my issues are. They are mine. I am working on them. I am well aware of the fact that I owe my parents thousands of dollars, as well as the 40 grand in student loans. That thought is painfully apparent to me, and when I am driving down the road and I get hungry and I think "ohhhh I want a big mac (or whatever it may be)" I remember that I owe someone else money, so what do I do? I go hungry for a few more hours.
Here is my challenge to my readers. Think about what ails you. This is going to take some time. I want you to write it down on a sheet of paper. I want you to take each of your problems and track its origin. This is the easy part, because it will always come back to you. if it doesn't then you've done something wrong, or you haven't gone far enough. Then I want you to track what the solution is going to be SPOILER it is going to be you again END SPOILER.
thanks for putting up with me while I rant. I'm sure that it might have been a little disjointed, but I think I pretty cohesively brought it all together.
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
why I hate testimony meeting
This is my blog and I'd just like to share with you the reason why I hate testimony meeting. I know that I'm not really supposed to do this but in order to do that I've got to give you a little bit of background.
So last month Brad and Jennifer got in a fight because Brad decided to go out with all of us, and Jennifer was all angry because I guess she had almost failed a test, but she didn't actually fail the test, but she was still angry about it. Anyway, I'm not sure if they broke up or what, but they stopped hanging out as often. Brad's friend Jeff came over to tell me that he was worried about Jennifer because she had been hanging out with this guy named chuck. Well Chuck doesn't actually live here in the area, he is some idiot that she met a few summers ago when she and Brad went on vacation with her family. Well Chuck bought these really nice shoes that he wears, like, all the time. The only problem is they are exactly like the shoes the one of my friends Eric bought. I'm pretty sure that Eric bought them first because they are really awesome shoes, and I saw Eric wearing them before Chuck bought his. Well Eric and I decided that it would be awesome to go hiking, even though there are no mountains around us anywhere, but we thought we'd give it a try. now I thought that I was really good at hiking, but Eric is way faster than me, I think it is because he has longer legs but my legs are really short. I don't like having short legs, it just makes me sad, but I was really happy to be hiking.
and that is why I hate testimony meeting. amen.
So last month Brad and Jennifer got in a fight because Brad decided to go out with all of us, and Jennifer was all angry because I guess she had almost failed a test, but she didn't actually fail the test, but she was still angry about it. Anyway, I'm not sure if they broke up or what, but they stopped hanging out as often. Brad's friend Jeff came over to tell me that he was worried about Jennifer because she had been hanging out with this guy named chuck. Well Chuck doesn't actually live here in the area, he is some idiot that she met a few summers ago when she and Brad went on vacation with her family. Well Chuck bought these really nice shoes that he wears, like, all the time. The only problem is they are exactly like the shoes the one of my friends Eric bought. I'm pretty sure that Eric bought them first because they are really awesome shoes, and I saw Eric wearing them before Chuck bought his. Well Eric and I decided that it would be awesome to go hiking, even though there are no mountains around us anywhere, but we thought we'd give it a try. now I thought that I was really good at hiking, but Eric is way faster than me, I think it is because he has longer legs but my legs are really short. I don't like having short legs, it just makes me sad, but I was really happy to be hiking.
and that is why I hate testimony meeting. amen.
Monday, October 1, 2012
you can't legalize responsibility...and my testimony.
Can I be real with you for a minute? I am getting sick and tired of people expecting the government to fix all their problems.
This has little to do with Mitt, or Obama, it has little to do with the economy, it has little to do with healthcare reform, and yet it has everything to do with all of these, and more.
Let me give you a little bit of background.
This morning while I was driving to the gym, I decided that I would listen to some talk radio instead of my normal classical fare, because, well, the classical radio station was broadcasting some odd sermon that made less sense than anything, and I frankly wasn't in a state of mind to think about the logical flaws in this preacher's argument. I tuned into one of the local morning drive-time talk shows and settled in for what I was positive was going to be a rousing discussion of celebrity gossip.
The hostess began by telling of a tragic car accident that happened this weekend where a recent high school graduate died when a tree jumped in front of his car( that was sarcasm. his car hit the tree standing on the side of the road). The preliminary investigation showed that there was alcohol and speeding involved. While my heart went out to the family of this misfortune, it was quickly hardened by the turn in the conversation. The hostess then related that her sister had been t-boned by another car who ran a red light. While she was ultimately alright, the damage to the vehicle was irreparable, and she required some medical attention.
The hosts then began discussing the need to require all vehicles to come equipped with little devices that would flash and beep, warning you that, at your present speed, you won't be able to drive through an intersection before the light changes red.
This is the dumbest idea I have ever heard!
Do you know why? Because the Government has ALREADY INSTALLED A BRIGHT YELLOW LIGHT INFORMING YOU THAT YOU CAN'T DRIVE THROUGH THE INTERSECTION BEFORE THE OTHER LANES OF TRAFFIC WILL START. The Yellow light doesn't mean speed up, it means slow down.
While this, in and of itself, infuriated me, it is simply the sign of a trend I have seen repeatedly.
Here are a few examples.
Education. I have heard, recently, of parents who believe it is the job of the schools to make sure that their children do their homework. Similarly, that it is the job of schools to make sure the students get to school. NO. it is the job of parents! It always will be your responsibility, just as it always has been, since the minute you had sex and conceived a child. In deciding to participate in sexual activity you chose to take upon yourself every consequence that comes along with the territory.
Debt relief. People believe it the government's responsibility to fix their debt, and save their houses from being foreclosed on. NO. it is their responsibility. No one was forced to take out 2nd and 3rd mortgages on their homes. No one is holding a gun to your head and telling you to buy a new car, or a boat, or a timeshare. You are the one who gave into your pride and said, "my neighbor has cool new toys, I want one too." You decided to listen to your ego and live beyond your means, because you assumed that you could do whatever you wanted. You DECIDED to not be prudent, and save your money, but rather to purchase, with reckless abandon, living beyond your means, all in an attempt to flatter your ego.
I have worked in the financial world, specifically in bankruptcy, and my heart goes out to the hundreds of clients who were in bad financial situations because of medical debt. They had been dealt a rough card, and were trying to make the best out of bad situation. My heart was less softened by the hundreds of other individuals I saw, who felt it necessary to buy more toys, and larger houses, and then mortgage those items until they owed 5 and 6 times what their assets were worth.
I have worked in education, and I feel terrible, and wish that there were more I could do to help the students work to get an education and to see the importance of it, but there is only so much I can do to ensure the future success of these young people. The bulk of the responsibility rests on the shoulders of the parents and guardians who need to make sure they teach the student how important an education is.
My heart goes out to the children who have been born with addictions and diseases beyond their control because of the choices of their parents. My heart does not go out to these parents who chose to engage in risky behaviors such as unprotected sex, drug use, alcohol consumption, etc.
Before anyone accuse me of being prejudicial, I understand that there are countless mitigating circumstances. Take, for example, the drunk driver. He has grown up in a society that valorizes the engagement of risky behavior. There is a machismo behind drinking. It seems to be a rite of passage to consume alcohol and develop a tolerance for it. maybe this person is depressed and they have been taught that drinking is a suitable way to relieve ones problems. The problem isn't that the individual is drinking and driving, the problem is that, twenty steps before, this individual was taught that it is okay.
We can't legalize that this driver be responsible because he has already imbibed a substance which limits his ability to make rational choices. Prohibition wouldn't work either. This individual needs to be educated, from an early age, that drinking is going to lead to their death.
Sex is the same thing. you can say whatever you want about the government's responsibility to make sure you are safe from getting aids, or any other communicable disease, but ultimately, the responsibility rests on you. You are the one who is deciding to engage in sexual activity with a partner who poses a risk to you. No one is holding a gun up to you and forcing you to have sex.
There are instances where someone is holding a gun up to your head. Let us take the example of rape. at this point, I can't think of anything more terrible than rape. My heart breaks for the victims of this terrible crime. The government needs to do everything it can to prevent and punish rapists, but even while writing this I experience some trepidation. It shouldn't be the government's responsibility. We as society need to stop teaching that rape is okay. For those of you who don't believe that we do, I encourage you to listen to the popular lyrics of a song by Katy Perry called ET. Listen to those lyrics, and then tell me that this song isn't advocating rape. Listen to almost any rap/pop song and tell me that sex isn't portrayed as an action for male gratification, and that the individuals in those songs aren't treated as objects. I believe that the porn industry encourages forced intercourse by portraying women as objects for male desire. I believe that the solution to stoping rape rests on our shoulders as individuals, to make sure that our children are raised in homes where human life is appreciated, where pornography is abhorred because of its portrayal of human life simply as an object for sexual gratification.
I wish that I had the time to go through and explain all my cases and arguments for each of these topics. I can't. I don't have the time, and I don't think I could do it justice here. As I have said, there are situations where the government can help, but the responsibility to ensure that bad things don't happen rests on our shoulders as citizens, and human beings. If we aren't responsible and wise, of our own free-will, then nothing the government can say, or do, or legalize, will fix it.
At this point I want to say something about my religion. I am a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. I try my hardest to live the commandments, as I understand them. I try and keep these commandments, not because "the church requires me to" or because I have to. I keep them because I choose to.
To these commandments, I include the word of wisdom, which states that I not drink alcohol, or take drugs, but also that I try and nourish my body (I could write an entire book on this one commandment). I live the word of wisdom because it helps me to keep a clear mind, and avoid those substances which would limit my ability to make clear choices.
I also believe in abstaining from sexual intercourse, except with my wife. that means that I believe in abstinence (say what you want about abstinence being outdated). This might seem outdated to a lot of people, yet it has kept me safe from EVER having to worry about contracting a disease.
I believe in paying tithing, and fast offerings. This means that I donate 10% of my income to the church, and that every time I fast i donate the funds that I would have spent on food to the needy and poor. While the Lord has given a promise that keeping this commandment qualifies one to have the windows of heaven opened, it has also meant that I know from whence my blessings come. part of me wants to have a new car, and a boat, and a new house, and yet keeping this commandment has given me a clear understanding of money management, and it has also helped me to realize that those things aren't important.
I challenge anyone who reads this to do one thing. look at the commandments, and read them in this light; not as God forcing you not to do something, but rather as God pleading with you not to do it because he knows what terrible consequences await those who do, and how easy life is for those who abstain.
I also encourage anyone to comment on this. I want to hear your thoughts, and learn from your experiences. I have been speaking of the need to make educated choices. please communicate, and educate me. If you can present a valid argument why I am wrong, then I will change my opinion. I will accept that I am wrong and will seek to correct that.
Saturday, September 29, 2012
Meet S. He's new.
I read a story a while back that seemed to introduce new characters all the way up to the end. I think it was The Confidence man. Truthfully, I didn't read it. I sparknoted it, and skimmed it. I just remember getting frustrated because new characters were being introduced the entire novel. By the time this book ended I had to keep track of more characters than people I've met during my entire life. It was exhausting.
That said, lets meet S. It didn't take long for his inner crazy to come through, in a remarkable way, and warrant a story on my blog. Somehow I knew that when I mentioned him today that something would happen to necessitate a story. S and B took me to go hang out with some girls that they had met earlier this week.
Now, let me give a small narratorial aside. I can't do justice to this story no matter how hard I try. It is so complex, that it truthfully is one of those had-to-be-there-moments. But I'm going to share it anyway.
Two of the girls were from other countries. One of them somehow became offended that Mormons always seems to talk about religion, which is a little unfair when one remembers that she is the one who started talking about religion. A better judgement might be that Mormons can't seem to stop talking about religion. While we might not start a faith-based discussion, we certainly won't let them finish.
Through this discussion we learned lots of fun little facts about her; such as where she is from, how long she has lived here, and her the present whereabouts of her boyfriend, who is apparently "way bigger than S, and has much bigger muscles, and could totally beat him up." I wouldn't call myself an amazing conversationalist, but I rarely allow a conversation to go from, "nice to meet you" to, "I'm gonna get my serbian BF beat the crap out of you" in under ten minutes. Apparently such conversational tracks are commonplace in countries known for their widespread tolerance of others. I'd forgotten that the spanish inquisition was just "harmless hazing."
One of the other girls seemed to get mad because she just didn't understand S.
S has the remarkable ability to literally carry on several conversations with multiple people at the same time. It is like his brain is a harddrive that he can section off, allowing different parts to work on one task while other parts are assigned to other functions. While this is a freakin awesome skill, it also seems to annoy people pretty quickly if they aren't used to it.
Within about 15 minutes two of the girls were so annoyed at S because they felt like he was just talking to them, instead of with them. Little did they understand, S had heard every word they said, carefully contemplated it, analyzed it, then responded. He is a freakin machine. If my computer could do as many things at once as he can, I'd never fall behind... ever.
So that is a small introduction to S. He is hilarious, and it is always worth a good conversation. There have been one or two times where I just go to his room, and mention something for the simple joy of hearing him speak. He can almost carry on a conversation with himself; arguing both sides of a topic like a true sophist. Once he has debated the merits of both sides of the argument, I politely withdraw with a smile on my face knowing that I've been edified and learned something useful.
My complaint comes from people who get so hostile so quickly. Why? Neither of those girls were even moderate conversationalists, they both had terrible personalities, and...and... you know what? I really want to go on, but I just felt like I ran into a wall. haha. I wasn't tired at all, and it just hit me. So give a warm welcome to S, and know that I'll be posting another story soon.
That said, lets meet S. It didn't take long for his inner crazy to come through, in a remarkable way, and warrant a story on my blog. Somehow I knew that when I mentioned him today that something would happen to necessitate a story. S and B took me to go hang out with some girls that they had met earlier this week.
Now, let me give a small narratorial aside. I can't do justice to this story no matter how hard I try. It is so complex, that it truthfully is one of those had-to-be-there-moments. But I'm going to share it anyway.
Two of the girls were from other countries. One of them somehow became offended that Mormons always seems to talk about religion, which is a little unfair when one remembers that she is the one who started talking about religion. A better judgement might be that Mormons can't seem to stop talking about religion. While we might not start a faith-based discussion, we certainly won't let them finish.
Through this discussion we learned lots of fun little facts about her; such as where she is from, how long she has lived here, and her the present whereabouts of her boyfriend, who is apparently "way bigger than S, and has much bigger muscles, and could totally beat him up." I wouldn't call myself an amazing conversationalist, but I rarely allow a conversation to go from, "nice to meet you" to, "I'm gonna get my serbian BF beat the crap out of you" in under ten minutes. Apparently such conversational tracks are commonplace in countries known for their widespread tolerance of others. I'd forgotten that the spanish inquisition was just "harmless hazing."
One of the other girls seemed to get mad because she just didn't understand S.
S has the remarkable ability to literally carry on several conversations with multiple people at the same time. It is like his brain is a harddrive that he can section off, allowing different parts to work on one task while other parts are assigned to other functions. While this is a freakin awesome skill, it also seems to annoy people pretty quickly if they aren't used to it.
Within about 15 minutes two of the girls were so annoyed at S because they felt like he was just talking to them, instead of with them. Little did they understand, S had heard every word they said, carefully contemplated it, analyzed it, then responded. He is a freakin machine. If my computer could do as many things at once as he can, I'd never fall behind... ever.
So that is a small introduction to S. He is hilarious, and it is always worth a good conversation. There have been one or two times where I just go to his room, and mention something for the simple joy of hearing him speak. He can almost carry on a conversation with himself; arguing both sides of a topic like a true sophist. Once he has debated the merits of both sides of the argument, I politely withdraw with a smile on my face knowing that I've been edified and learned something useful.
My complaint comes from people who get so hostile so quickly. Why? Neither of those girls were even moderate conversationalists, they both had terrible personalities, and...and... you know what? I really want to go on, but I just felt like I ran into a wall. haha. I wasn't tired at all, and it just hit me. So give a warm welcome to S, and know that I'll be posting another story soon.
Friday, September 28, 2012
Les Mis, liz, and les gym.
This popped up while I was eating.
There really is no purpose behind this video except to say that 30 rock makes me laugh so hard. There are several TV shows that I constantly turn back to, and 30 Rock is one of them.
I'm weird. I'll admit it. I super-duper like cleaning. For whatever reason I actually live like an absolute slob, which necessitates that I spend an hour or two several times a week (or even one mega-long day) cleaning as if company is about to come over, and i don't want them to think that I'm too poor to afford staffing an entire kitchen staff, several maids, a butler, and a valet (not a valet, like the guy who parks your car, but rather a valet, like the guy who helps you get dressed).
Obviously, this is a habit that B and S (oh, S. is the new roommate. he just moved in a month ago, and i'm sure I'll be posting some stories about him in a bit. Until recently he has been able to pretend to be normal, but one can only hold up that facade for so long before the inner crazy needs to break free. I don't know what is going to happen, but I'm going to guess it will be sleep walking....ohhhh or fight club. I'll put $5 down that he tries to start fight club...in our apartment) appreciate. It means that they essentially have a servant who takes care of their house for them. This coupled with my insane need to cook soup-kitchen amounts of food means that neither of them has had to cook or clean in a while.
It is essentially the plot of an e card someone sent me. My diet plan is to make everyone else fat by comparison to me so that I look skinny. Mission accomplished.
Anyway, while engaging in my crazy cooking and cleaning rituals I often watch 30 rock. I don't actually watch it, but it is noise in the background. Furthermore, it is less depressing than news, more hilarious than late night, and less repetitive than music. All-in-all, I'ld say it is a pleasant way to fill silence.
I just realized that it has been super long since I've posted an adventure.
Well, in my defense I basically live like a member of the geriatric community, and haven't had dinner past 4 pm in over two months. I have been going to the gym. a lot. still. and I don't feel any stronger.
But hey, that isn't why one goes to the gym. If I wanted to look like I just crawled out of a hot tub on the jersey shore then I would find some "supplement" to do all the work for me. I go to the gym for two reasons: 1) my cholesterol would be through the rough, as would my weight, and my skin would be a pasty white, with acne all over it. Therefore the gym simply works to even out my terrible eating habits, and not actually get me to be an abs model. ANNNND 2) it is really the only time I socialize with people. Who knew that so many people go to the gym at 6 am? I most certainly didn't, and so far I've even started making friends.
Unfortunately a gym is a terrible microcosm of American society (How meta-meta did I sound right there?). One citizen that B and I have run into while at the gym is the stalker.
The stalker is an overly villianized member of American society. Without them, how would we know what constitutes inappropriate action? Without them, would we know that it is rude to stare at someone with your mouth open, while breathing heavily? No, no we would not, because no one else would do that, and so we'd all just sit around wondering whether or not such action would make others feel awkward. Furthermore, without stalkers we wouldn't know who is beautiful, and who is not. Look on the bright side, if you have a stalker then it means that someone thinks you're good looking enough to ignore 2000 years of social and evolutionary mores just to let you know how much they care.
See, I'm just spinning the negative into a positive. So thanks, to my stalker, who tirelessly works to remind me that the measly weight I'm using on my bicep curl is actually remarkable, and extraordinary, and fascinating enough to sit and watch for twenty minutes without blinking, moving, or producing any other sign of life. While it might have scared me at first, I know realize that it is just a compliment.
no really. It is not a compliment. it is awkward, and slightly terrifying.
in conclusion, is anyone else as happy about Les Mis as I am? it looks amazing. Way to go Anne hathaway, this might make me not be so sick of you.
There really is no purpose behind this video except to say that 30 rock makes me laugh so hard. There are several TV shows that I constantly turn back to, and 30 Rock is one of them.
I'm weird. I'll admit it. I super-duper like cleaning. For whatever reason I actually live like an absolute slob, which necessitates that I spend an hour or two several times a week (or even one mega-long day) cleaning as if company is about to come over, and i don't want them to think that I'm too poor to afford staffing an entire kitchen staff, several maids, a butler, and a valet (not a valet, like the guy who parks your car, but rather a valet, like the guy who helps you get dressed).
Obviously, this is a habit that B and S (oh, S. is the new roommate. he just moved in a month ago, and i'm sure I'll be posting some stories about him in a bit. Until recently he has been able to pretend to be normal, but one can only hold up that facade for so long before the inner crazy needs to break free. I don't know what is going to happen, but I'm going to guess it will be sleep walking....ohhhh or fight club. I'll put $5 down that he tries to start fight club...in our apartment) appreciate. It means that they essentially have a servant who takes care of their house for them. This coupled with my insane need to cook soup-kitchen amounts of food means that neither of them has had to cook or clean in a while.
It is essentially the plot of an e card someone sent me. My diet plan is to make everyone else fat by comparison to me so that I look skinny. Mission accomplished.
Anyway, while engaging in my crazy cooking and cleaning rituals I often watch 30 rock. I don't actually watch it, but it is noise in the background. Furthermore, it is less depressing than news, more hilarious than late night, and less repetitive than music. All-in-all, I'ld say it is a pleasant way to fill silence.
I just realized that it has been super long since I've posted an adventure.
Well, in my defense I basically live like a member of the geriatric community, and haven't had dinner past 4 pm in over two months. I have been going to the gym. a lot. still. and I don't feel any stronger.
But hey, that isn't why one goes to the gym. If I wanted to look like I just crawled out of a hot tub on the jersey shore then I would find some "supplement" to do all the work for me. I go to the gym for two reasons: 1) my cholesterol would be through the rough, as would my weight, and my skin would be a pasty white, with acne all over it. Therefore the gym simply works to even out my terrible eating habits, and not actually get me to be an abs model. ANNNND 2) it is really the only time I socialize with people. Who knew that so many people go to the gym at 6 am? I most certainly didn't, and so far I've even started making friends.
Unfortunately a gym is a terrible microcosm of American society (How meta-meta did I sound right there?). One citizen that B and I have run into while at the gym is the stalker.
The stalker is an overly villianized member of American society. Without them, how would we know what constitutes inappropriate action? Without them, would we know that it is rude to stare at someone with your mouth open, while breathing heavily? No, no we would not, because no one else would do that, and so we'd all just sit around wondering whether or not such action would make others feel awkward. Furthermore, without stalkers we wouldn't know who is beautiful, and who is not. Look on the bright side, if you have a stalker then it means that someone thinks you're good looking enough to ignore 2000 years of social and evolutionary mores just to let you know how much they care.
See, I'm just spinning the negative into a positive. So thanks, to my stalker, who tirelessly works to remind me that the measly weight I'm using on my bicep curl is actually remarkable, and extraordinary, and fascinating enough to sit and watch for twenty minutes without blinking, moving, or producing any other sign of life. While it might have scared me at first, I know realize that it is just a compliment.
no really. It is not a compliment. it is awkward, and slightly terrifying.
in conclusion, is anyone else as happy about Les Mis as I am? it looks amazing. Way to go Anne hathaway, this might make me not be so sick of you.
Thursday, September 27, 2012
ohhhhh if only college had been like this.
I love insomnia! I remember a time when it really used to bother me that I wasn't able to sleep for ten hours a night, but now I just sort of relish the fact that I function moderately well on 45 minutes of sleep. It isn't ideal, but sometimes life gives you lemons and the only thing to do is make lemonade stay up, cause you aren't going to sleep anyway, and research 1 million things to do with lemons on pinterest. Trust me. There are that many uses.
I spent this morning reading, writing, playing solitaire, etc when I remembered this hilarious little web series I discovered probably 5 years ago. Take the 5 minuts and watch this. It will totally put a smile on your face.
The joy brought on by this video was enough to make me nap-out for a good 20 minutes (bringing my sleeping schedule to exactly 1/24th of my day). When i woke up I decided to share it.
How is it that my college experience was nothing like this? Oh well, one day I vow to pull off the window of pain. It will, of course be epic. Tears will be shed, probably from whoever's face get smushed into the glass. They will contemplate retaliation, until it is made clear to them that it is impossible to sneak up on someone whose sleep is as unsettled as a peace treaty between Iran and Israel (Get it? It is pretty tumultuous. Subsequently, we have now exceeded my knowledge of politics). Ultimately we will all look back fondly at this experience.
I guess I should probably go and attempt something productive.
I spent this morning reading, writing, playing solitaire, etc when I remembered this hilarious little web series I discovered probably 5 years ago. Take the 5 minuts and watch this. It will totally put a smile on your face.
The joy brought on by this video was enough to make me nap-out for a good 20 minutes (bringing my sleeping schedule to exactly 1/24th of my day). When i woke up I decided to share it.
How is it that my college experience was nothing like this? Oh well, one day I vow to pull off the window of pain. It will, of course be epic. Tears will be shed, probably from whoever's face get smushed into the glass. They will contemplate retaliation, until it is made clear to them that it is impossible to sneak up on someone whose sleep is as unsettled as a peace treaty between Iran and Israel (Get it? It is pretty tumultuous. Subsequently, we have now exceeded my knowledge of politics). Ultimately we will all look back fondly at this experience.
I guess I should probably go and attempt something productive.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
Just some thoughts on Autumn
I can't believe that it is already autumn. Does anyone else feel as if 2012 has just flown by? Oh well, not much one can do about it now.
With Autumn comes the unfortunate end to the Omaha Farmer's Market. Don't ask me to explain it, but I have yet to find a suitable place to get produce year round, and I live in, what I would assume is, very productive farmland.
Recently I made this recipe. While it has always been an absolute favorite of mine, it is unbelievable when two requirements are met. 1) get all your produce from a farmers market. I can't even begin to describe to you the fabulous aroma that will percolate through your house as farm-fresh bacon and green onions are simmering. 2) Do yourself a favor and invest in a cast iron skillet. While I've cooked this recipe in normal teflon skillets, it doesn't turn out nearly as nice as it does with cast iron. If you are lucky, the cashier at you local store, as mine did, will ignore your suggestion for a $15 price tag when she fails to find the actual bar code, and will be too lazy to call someone and ask them, and will subsequently settle on giving it to you for $10 (Happy Birthday To Me!).
Autumn brings a whole slew of memories. Every year Madre Evans dusts off the giant stock pot and cans. This is, by far, my favorite memory. She cans three things: strawberry jam (It probably should be pronounced straw-bree, like our classy british friends do), Salsa, and Chili Sauce (For those of you who don't know, Chili sauce is a sweeter kind of salsa, that is really good on roast beef). With the help of WebMD, I was recently self diagnosed as a salsa addict. Don't worry. I'm getting it under control. Madre's year long supply would never last very long because I can polish off salsa faster than a depressed chick and a quart of mint chocolate ice cream.
Several years ago madre went to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latte-day Saints. At first this wasn't so bad, but our family was left to fend for ourselves, and eat store bought jam. It was a rough winter (It truly was a winter of discontent). I am super bummed that I can't be at home this year when canning happens. I would give it a go here in Omaha, but there are several issues. 1) Where am I going to store a years worth of salsa and jam? Under my bed, is the only possible answer, and that would just encourage, what I like to call, sleep eating. I'm totally awake, but it is less embarrassing if I claim I eat while asleep. Problem 2) I would need to buy all new canning stuff. Blue had limited storage capacity, so driving out here required only taking the bare essentials...and I mean bare, like underwear and socks bare. The luxury of bringing multiple pairs of jeans was out of the question. Problem 3) is less of a problem and more of a logistical quandary. I have no idea where I'm going to be living in 7 months. I don't want to have salsa stockpiled as if I'm awaiting Armageddon and then have to move it all, orbetter yet worse, have to binge eat it like it is going out of style.
Alas, no freezer jam or salsa for me this year.
The other great thing about Autumn is new releases. TV is back, Music is new, Movies are improving after their late summer letdown.
This leads me to my list of favorite things for September.
Mumford and Sons (They have always been on the list, but their new album just came out this week....AWWWWWWEESOOOOOOME). I might have died a little bit on the inside when I heard they were in town but tickets had sold faster than....I don't know, but something awesome.
Happy Endings (Jane Kerkovich-Williams is probably my favorite character on television. she is just hilarious. nuf said).
jogging (After, what feels like eternity, I am jogging again. Painful, yes. Will I stop? No. is it gorgeous outside? Yes. How long can I keep writing as if it is a MasterCard commercial? priceless...I mean forever.
Well I've procrastinated enough. I need to start reading Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn. If anyone knows of a good video adaptation of this book I'd appreciate it. I am in need of some more free time.
With Autumn comes the unfortunate end to the Omaha Farmer's Market. Don't ask me to explain it, but I have yet to find a suitable place to get produce year round, and I live in, what I would assume is, very productive farmland.
Recently I made this recipe. While it has always been an absolute favorite of mine, it is unbelievable when two requirements are met. 1) get all your produce from a farmers market. I can't even begin to describe to you the fabulous aroma that will percolate through your house as farm-fresh bacon and green onions are simmering. 2) Do yourself a favor and invest in a cast iron skillet. While I've cooked this recipe in normal teflon skillets, it doesn't turn out nearly as nice as it does with cast iron. If you are lucky, the cashier at you local store, as mine did, will ignore your suggestion for a $15 price tag when she fails to find the actual bar code, and will be too lazy to call someone and ask them, and will subsequently settle on giving it to you for $10 (Happy Birthday To Me!).
Autumn brings a whole slew of memories. Every year Madre Evans dusts off the giant stock pot and cans. This is, by far, my favorite memory. She cans three things: strawberry jam (It probably should be pronounced straw-bree, like our classy british friends do), Salsa, and Chili Sauce (For those of you who don't know, Chili sauce is a sweeter kind of salsa, that is really good on roast beef). With the help of WebMD, I was recently self diagnosed as a salsa addict. Don't worry. I'm getting it under control. Madre's year long supply would never last very long because I can polish off salsa faster than a depressed chick and a quart of mint chocolate ice cream.
Several years ago madre went to serve a mission for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latte-day Saints. At first this wasn't so bad, but our family was left to fend for ourselves, and eat store bought jam. It was a rough winter (It truly was a winter of discontent). I am super bummed that I can't be at home this year when canning happens. I would give it a go here in Omaha, but there are several issues. 1) Where am I going to store a years worth of salsa and jam? Under my bed, is the only possible answer, and that would just encourage, what I like to call, sleep eating. I'm totally awake, but it is less embarrassing if I claim I eat while asleep. Problem 2) I would need to buy all new canning stuff. Blue had limited storage capacity, so driving out here required only taking the bare essentials...and I mean bare, like underwear and socks bare. The luxury of bringing multiple pairs of jeans was out of the question. Problem 3) is less of a problem and more of a logistical quandary. I have no idea where I'm going to be living in 7 months. I don't want to have salsa stockpiled as if I'm awaiting Armageddon and then have to move it all, or
Alas, no freezer jam or salsa for me this year.
The other great thing about Autumn is new releases. TV is back, Music is new, Movies are improving after their late summer letdown.
This leads me to my list of favorite things for September.
Mumford and Sons (They have always been on the list, but their new album just came out this week....AWWWWWWEESOOOOOOME). I might have died a little bit on the inside when I heard they were in town but tickets had sold faster than....I don't know, but something awesome.
Happy Endings (Jane Kerkovich-Williams is probably my favorite character on television. she is just hilarious. nuf said).
jogging (After, what feels like eternity, I am jogging again. Painful, yes. Will I stop? No. is it gorgeous outside? Yes. How long can I keep writing as if it is a MasterCard commercial? priceless...I mean forever.
Well I've procrastinated enough. I need to start reading Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn. If anyone knows of a good video adaptation of this book I'd appreciate it. I am in need of some more free time.
Monday, September 17, 2012
help for a friend
Usually this blog is a place for me to rant, and rarely do I engage in anything productive or positive. I'm going to change that for today. My friend Camilla is in need of some help. She is trying to enter a treatment facility. Camilla is a dear friend of mine, and she is in need of help to make this a reality. Go to her blog and read about her experiences. Support her if you can, or just purchase some amazing baked goods.
click here for her blog.
click here for her blog.
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
Driving
I will be the first to admit that I did not attend one of those progressive drivers education courses that taught one that it is appropriate to cross several lanes of traffic without a single flash of a blinker, nor did my teach me the invaluable skill of driving while eating what can only be described as a fabulous meal of Omaha steak, with a baked potato with a side of steamed vegetables (think about how awesome that skill would be, and then acknowledge the supernal difficulty of accomplishing it on a freeway). All of this aside, I am pretty sure that the turning lane is a staple of driver education.
For those of you that are unfamiliar, the turning lane is that lane in the middle bordered by double yellow lines.
If you are making a left hand turn onto a road, crossing one lane of traffic and merging into another one, it is perfectly acceptable to utilize the turning lane. The only requirement is that there be no traffic coming on your left. the traffic on the right can be as busy as a costco on a Saturday . . . you know why? Because you have a turning lane in which to sit until an opening should appear.
Apparently the Nebraskan Drivers Education Teachers have never been told about this fabulous vehicular inclusion because they seem to have failed in passing the information onto their pupils. Everyone freaks out when I turn into this lane! they get all paranoid and actually stop driving.
If you are to skittish to handle a car turning into the lane next to you, then please, by all means, refrain from ever driving again.
Done, and done. With that, my rant for the day concludes.
Also, I am listening to a new band I recently heard. Go and look up "The Canes" not the crotchety old men from the south, but the cool hip band from Chicago (apparently there are two different ones, so just be warned).
For those of you that are unfamiliar, the turning lane is that lane in the middle bordered by double yellow lines.
If you are making a left hand turn onto a road, crossing one lane of traffic and merging into another one, it is perfectly acceptable to utilize the turning lane. The only requirement is that there be no traffic coming on your left. the traffic on the right can be as busy as a costco on a Saturday . . . you know why? Because you have a turning lane in which to sit until an opening should appear.
Apparently the Nebraskan Drivers Education Teachers have never been told about this fabulous vehicular inclusion because they seem to have failed in passing the information onto their pupils. Everyone freaks out when I turn into this lane! they get all paranoid and actually stop driving.
If you are to skittish to handle a car turning into the lane next to you, then please, by all means, refrain from ever driving again.
Done, and done. With that, my rant for the day concludes.
Also, I am listening to a new band I recently heard. Go and look up "The Canes" not the crotchety old men from the south, but the cool hip band from Chicago (apparently there are two different ones, so just be warned).
Wednesday, August 29, 2012
thinning the herd
I remember that Darwin talked about the way that a species will naturally select certain traits and, for lack of a better term, remove them. Sometimes this happens by the ultimately sad process where the male is denied a mate, and their inferior genes aren't allowed to reproduce. Sometimes this happens through some other equally sad outcome, which ultimately works for the benefit of the species.
Darwin failed me today.
My school is conveniently divided by several streets--one of them being a freeway. There are adequate sidewalks, and to be honest, the flow of traffic is so minimal that one can almost cross without even thinking. That is where the problem occurs.
Today there stood about 50 people on either side of the road. Each of them was completely engrossed in whatever else they were doing. This could have been texting (yet I doubt anyone would actually txt them) it could have been adjusting the music on their ipods (which was probably some crap that will turn their brains to mush) the rest were paying close attention to the traffic. Then, like a herd of dogs jumping out of the gates at a race track they all started moving. It was unbelievable! I say this because the road was jam packed with cars, and their light had just turned green. All of them, in unison jumped into the road as if they weren't crossing a street at all.
Cars were honking their horns and slamming on their brakes, and yelling at the people to get out of the road. Guess what they did? The students all continued to look deeper into their little devices, as it is magically made them invisible and impervious to modern mechanics. Imagine, if you will, that you are participating with the running of the bulls in Spain. They throw open the doors, the bulls begin their stampede and suddenly everyone stops running and begins checking their FB updates. What do you think the bulls would say? I can tell you what they would say, "someone is in my way, and for that I will pulverize them into shanks of meat."
Anyone who did that would die.
These students should have died. I say that in the past tense, not in a vindictive way. There was no reason the cars didn't stop except for out of the goodness of their hearts.
I have a real hard time dealing with stupid people. I also don't like that these students buried their heads deeper into their various devices. That does not for a good apology make, and it does not give them the right of way.
This terrifies me because it shows a real paradigm shift in society. We ignore rules, and we don't think of others. Nothing is more important to us than our own insignificant happenings.
More to come. I promise.
Friday, August 24, 2012
Baked Pickles.
So I know that it has been way too long since I've posted anything, and there is really no excuse. Today I'm posting about a great recipe I tried this week in honor of a recent excursion to a state fair. I freakin love fried food, but it will be the death of me if I eat it in "small" quantities. Enjoy!
Ingredients
1 jar pickle slices
2 eggs
1/3 cup flour
1 Tbsp Worcestershire sauce
1 tsp hot sauce
1 tsp garlic powder
1 tsp Cajun seasoning
1 tsp pepper
1 1/2 cups panko bread crumbs
Directions
Turn oven broiler on high.
In a medium bowl, whisk together eggs and flour. Add Worcestershire sauce, hot sauce, garlic powder, Cajun seasoning, and pepper. Mix well.
Place panko bread crumbs in a shallow dish. Dunk each pickle slice into the egg mixture, than dredge it in the panko bread crumbs.
Place coated pickles on a rack set above a baking sheet and sprayed with non-stick cooking spray. Place pan in the middle rack of the oven. Broil for about 3 minutes on each side.
Wednesday, May 23, 2012
sorry
It has been far too long since I've written anything. School gets in the way, life gets busy, work gets hectic, and having a roommate move out and taking the router means that I rarely get internet at home. All of this means that I never have time to write when it is convenient.
I just thought I would share a story from the past few months. I love riding the train. While it isn't the fastest mode of transportation, it certainly is the most luxurious. It is perfect because I don't need to drive, so I can just spend the whole time sleeping, or reading, or watching movies, and you get amazing scenery.
The only weird thing about the train is the caliber of people riding it. Now, I'm not being disparaging of the train population, because i'm part of it, but every now and then you get some real pieces of work.
This week I rode the train back to omaha, and there was a woman on the train making all sorts of inappropriate noises. There is no reason why lifting a backpack or stepping over train tracks should produce that noise, or anything similar. Well about 10 AM she goes running past my seat, and I got a whiff of poo. The next thing I know the conductor has come on the speaker and announced that there has been an emergency and the restroom is unavailable. 20 minutes later the woman walks past me wearing all new clothes.
Okay, so I feel bad for this person, but there is no reason that should have happened. NONE WHATSOEVER. Each car has a restroom, she is an adult, there weren't lines on the train, no one was going to steal her seat, i just can't figure out why there needed to be an accident in the first place.
so I encourage everyone to take a ride on a train. at the very least it will give you some great story about society, and at the very best you will get to see some amazing landscapes, read your favorite book, and get some pretty good naps.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I meant to write this earlier today
Well, day 2 of lent (i promise I won't give a count each time). I kind of liked the idea of filling my FB time with blogging time. I had something on my mind all day that I wanted to write about, but I got home and realized that my crock pot had been on all day (That is the point of crock pots) but for some reason whatever I was cooking just did not smell very good. As soon as I walked in the door I completely forgot everything I wanted to write about and became fixated on how I can get the smell of burned peas out of my house. I was really excited for this stew because it smelled so good while it was beginning to cook, but I got home and it now just grosses me out. What is more embarrassing is that I somehow managed to mess up a crock pot recipe. WHO DOES THAT? apart from a toaster oven it is the most hassle free kitchen appliance EVER. Lest you think that I'm a terrible cook, let me note that I made chicken curry the other day, from scratch. It was really good. Also I make an amazing grilled chicken breast sandwich with bacon, avocado, tomato, spinach, and pesto. It is probably one of my favorite meals.
ugghhh I seriously can only smell the burned stew. it is making me seriously sick to my stomach. Well I better go to bed. hopefully with the windows open things will just air out.
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
Lent and other stuff
For the past few years I've observed Lent. It certainly isn't a required practice in my denomination, but I've had several catholic friends who've talked to me about it. I know very little about the ins and outs, but I love the fact that it is 40 days of sacrificing something in an attempt to draw closer to Christ. I'm at no loss of things to give up, in fact the hard part might be narrowing my "sin" down to just 1 or 2 manageable things. The last few years I've given up facebook for lent. I've actually really enjoyed this because I realize just how dependent my life is on social media--which I hate. I think I'm going to try that again. I wish i were in a position to completely give up media, but I'm so dependent on the internet for school, and work, and with my phone barely getting cell phone coverage the internet is the only way I have to stay in touch with friends and family. I think, as a way to fill my time with other activities I'm going to rededicate myself to my blog. I haven't written as often as i'd like, and I've had some great experiences which I haven't shared with anyone.
So here comes my rant for Lent.
Mark Twain once said something to the effect of, any library without a copy is Jane Austen is still a complete library. I don't know why he hated her so much. I'm sure she would look at his literature and say, "well that is just a bunch of crap, and what irresponsible children. WHERE ARE THEIR PARENTS!!" I know that I actually use that line all the time, "What is with all these children? where are their parents?" This is quickly getting off topic--I have the attention span of an ADHD kid on crack.
I don't know what his problem with her was, but I actually like her. I even miss having classes that required me to read her stuff. More than anything i lament the loss of her society. say what you will about her writing style, or her characters, or anything else, but please leave her culture alone. I LOVE the civility which her novels attempt to capture.
We live in a world that has lost all notion of civility and decorum. I walked to the grocery store yesterday, and greeted everyone with whom I crossed paths with a hello, or a how are you. no one responded. In fact, no one even looked me in the eye. it was actually really pathetic.
Civility isn't just lost on random strangers. I've even noticed it among acquaintances. There are a lot of people that I would like to smack in the teeth because they just don't seem to get it. Where were/are their parents? How is it that parents have completely given up on raising their children to be respectful. it makes me sad.
On a positive note, I have discovered Spotify. this is a music streaming program like Pandora. I personally feel it is superior. if you don't have it I recommend it. Look up a few songs; Girls just wanna have fun by Emile Autumn, Holocaust of Giants by Rasputina, and just generally enjoy the exploration.
Monday, February 13, 2012
the sound of silence
There is a sign posted at the door of the library which reads thus,
Silence is expected
To maintain this tranquil place of learning, I--long ago--decided that I would conduct all phone conversations out in the lobby where I can't possible disturb anyone. The general populace here at Creighton is fairly polite when it comes to library etiquette. However there are a few who don't seem to understand what constitutes a breach of the library's expectations.
1. The gamer. Lets start here because it is happening behind me as we speak. we might be so accustomed to this noise that we forget it even exists, but the clicking of a mouse is actually a noticeable thing. While it is generally not a big deal the kid behind me is about ten seconds away from being punched in the mouth. Lets try an experiment. go to your mouse and click the buttons as often as you can, this will be synonymous with a woodpecker chiseling into your brain. Now, keep doing it. don't stop, no. Keep going. you've probably made it about twenty or thirty seconds before your finger gets slightly exhausted--or quanked as i learned today. Now imagine that noise continuing for 20 MINUTES. unbelievable. I don't think I would mind except that this noise is managing to pierce through my Beethoven Sonata, and the Mozart Requiem before that, and the Strauss waltz before that. Furthermore, sweats and a t-shirt do not an ensemble make. They also do not cover up to the fact that you haven't showered yet, as evidenced by your hair which is matted to one side of your head while looking like you just got in a fight with an egg beater on the other. Please don't use my library for your gaming exploits. if you need to level up, do that on your own bandwidth, and not while I'm trying to research theology and Renaissance art.
2. the phone talkers. Please relegate your conversations to the same lobby I use. No one wants to hear about how you got so drunk you passed out in the frat house and don't care how many people you might have done things with. Syphilis--like sweats and t-shirts--does not an ensemble make. lets not brag about what things you might have contracted during the weekends kegger. As an added note can we talk about obnoxious cell phone rings. This is why I don't think children should be given cell phones. They don't get it, and they don't know how to be polite with it.
3. the gormandizers. This is one that I'm totally guilty of right now, but I figure that since I'm not offending on the other two, that I'm safe. Also I'm not chewing gum. Could there be anything more repellent than gum? The constant smacking, and clicking, and bubble popping, it is just all too much. To my recent memory I can think of no one that I felt it was okay for them to chew gum. A lot of people bring food to the library. I totally get that, in fact I have a medley of carrots green beans and mushrooms with a vegetable dip at my kiosk right now. When one spends an entire day in the library one must be prepared in order to maximize ones time. Also I don't want to give up my killer kiosk to go and grab food.
Well I think this is a good starting point for the blog posts. sorry i haven't posted very much this semester. I'll try and be more observant.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
These are a few of my favorite things
Alright, I get that it has been a while since I've posted anything. I apologize. I'd like to say that I'm going to post more, but I think this semester might kick my butt. I figured that a good way to start out this year was to list off a few of my favorite things, again. I like this segment. It helps me to stay grounded.
1-I love ties. I've been mistaken for faculty so many times it is starting to give me a complex. Today while walking through the student center several Employees addressed me, while ignoring the countless students walking past them, and said "good morning Sir, how are you?" This just was flattering to me. Being the paradigm of civility I responded graciously and appropriately.
2-being old. I'll admit it, I'm getting old. I might be young chronologically, but everyday I'm reminded of the disparity between my culture and the culture of students only 7-10 years different (oh good crap! some of these students are ten years younger than me... forget that I'm old). While working diligently at my computer I was aware that several underclassmen were moving towards my table. They were engaged in a heated debate about the merits and flaws of certain battle bots. I don't know what those are, but I'm assuming that it is something akin to the pogs of my generation. I have a few ideas about what caused this cultural rift, but I'm not totally sure of the causes so I'll hold off on giving those insights.
3-Burberry. I'm a fan of Burberry. it is a refreshing and pleasant scent.
4-Scarves. i think that the weather has dropped unbelievably. How grateful I am that I have such great clothes to fashionably keep away the cold.
Well I was going to continue with this list, but my table has been overrun by these underclassmen. A. no one has taught them how to apply deodorant, cologne, or clothing. B. they've started touching my belongings and moving them around. I think they are oblivious to the fact that I'm a bigger deal than they are.
This leads me to my insight of the day. if a Masters is the new Bachelors, then underclassman are the new HS students. At no time has this been more apparent to me than here, at this table.
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