And that, MDRF, is why sleep is important.

As I sit at my computer this morning I am coherent enough to accept that I might ramble a bit in this post.  I might go on, and on, and on about topics with little relevance to the world, my friends, or even me.  For example:
Marriage rate in Utah
correlates with
Per capita consumption of high fructose corn syrup (US)


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	2000	2001	2002	2003	2004	2005	2006	2007	2008	2009
Marriage rate in Utah Marriages per 1000 people (US Census)	10.8	10.2	10.4	10.2	9.9	9.8	9.2	9.6	9	8.4
Per capita consumption of high fructose corn syrup (US) Pounds (USDA)	62.6	62.5	62.8	60.9	59.8	59.1	58.2	56.1	53	50.1
Correlation: 0.941978

While many of my friends are married, with children, and yard work, I like to think that my singleness is effectively contributing to the decline of the obesity epidemic.  The graph shows correlation, but I think it meant causation.   Yeah.  I'm pretty sure causation is the right word.   And since high fructose corn syrup and obesity and undisputedly linked together, the single adult population is effectively defeating the greatest epidemic of our generation (next to pleated pants and polio). What does this all mean?
This all means that I've lost my mind.  You see, last night I slept on the most uncomfortable mattress of my life, mine having been stored in a temporary trailer awaiting a trip to UT.  "Slept," is the wrong word, because that implies that my mind entered a REM cycle, and my body went limp.  

It should look like this.

This is what it actually looked like:

soooooo close.

Honestly, this was the most uncomfortable mattress I've ever been on.  No matter how I positioned myself my limbs fell asleep from loss of blood, I somehow pinched a nerve to the point that my leg has ached all day.  

Welcome to Target! It only looks in disrepair to attract the hipsters.

However, this is what my attempt at sleep looked like:

Despite having gone to bed at a reasonable hour, I didn't sleep.  FINALLY at 3 am I decided to go and get something done.  

It was a great time to be on the road, with an unbelievably plentiful number of drivers.  I would assume that a goodly portion of Omaha was also sleeping on bad mattresses...either that or I interrupted the annual Midnight Home Invasion Conference (MHIC).  This is one of the BIG DEAL conferences, attracting crowds from all over the world to present relevant scholarship on burgling.  This year's keynote address was given by Dr. Teejay Campbeen on the psychology of floral patterns in wallpaper.  Riveting stuff.  I think next year's conference will be held in the bustling metropolis of Broken Bow, NE.

I just realized I don't actually have a point.  I was going to try and transition this story into some valuable life lesson, but the story ends with me buying a pack of Red Bulls and a styrofoam cooler from a Walmart, and then hopping next door to get some Egg McMuffins cause I was starving, finishing the morning off with some homework and SNL reruns, and finally collapsing on the floor sobbing.  It looked a lot like when you lock you SIM character in a room with no toilet and they cry for hours.

I guess I could try and extrapolate that sleep is important, rest is needful, and that is why God commanded everyone to rest from their labors for a day, but I feel like that cheapens the meaning.

In any case, I hope you all have a great day.  Hopefully I'll get some grand insight, or maybe I'll just go take a nap once my second breakfast of Red Bull and snickers wears off.