Parking

I've been fortunate enough to drive quite a bit. Growing up in Utah I learned to drive at the age of 14 on a dirt road up to our ranch. At 19 I went to Germany and had the great fortune of driving on the Autobahn. at 23 I drove cross country twice. then at 27 I drove back east. After thousands of miles I like to think that I'm an aficionado when it comes to driving. People like to claim that Utahns are terrible drivers. they might have their flaws, but they're not. Californians are. at the very least the Californians who leave the state and invade others are the worst drivers, but even with that said Americans really struggle with the idea of the fast lane. Ideally you should always stay to the right-most lane, unless you are passing, but once you've passed then you are supposed to get right back over.

Now that you've all learned how to drive, lets talk about parking. Omahanians take the place for worst parkers on earth. I'm not sure what it is about those lines in parking lots but these people seem to be under the impression that these lines are mistakes--perhaps left by migrant workers during the initial paving of the are. As a result they park in whatever helter-skelter formation they see fit. How hard is it, and I'm asking this in all honest, to pull a car into a parking stall with adequate room on either side of the car to allow passengers to load and unload? for some people it must be impossible. Perhaps they're color blind and the yellow lines are indistinguishable from the black asphalt. Perhaps asphalt is a new invention here. I've noticed plenty of roads that aren't paved, so maybe the idea of asphalt covered lots where cars spend their idle time, is so new or foreign that they see these lines and are filled with the same apprehension I get when looking at texts in Mandarin Chinese. While all of these are possibilities, I'm much more inclined to think that it is just because they aren't paying attention when they park, which means that they probably won't notice if I were to write mean things with my keys into the body of their vehicle, maybe they wouldn't notice if someone sliced through the tubes with the brake fluid in them. I'm not admitting anything, and I'm certainly not condoning it, but lets get real. people who park their cars terrible deserve to have just a little somethin-somethin.