Billy does Vegas, Episode 2

So, my dear reader friend (MDRF), can I just tell you something?  I love the word accouterments.  It is an awesome word, and I‘m proud to announce that I used the word 6 times today, correctly. 

 

I photosynthesize all the time.

MDRF, here is a song that you can listen to while you read my blog.  I love music, and occasionally I find these little gems that just put an absolute smile on my face. 

    

This second link is another great song.  Some of you will remember my deep love-slash-fear for Miley Cyrus.  I even like some of the songs on her new album, but when I look at how fame has ravaged her, it just makes me sad-slash-glad that my parents shied away from the limelight.  We try and keep it on the DL, but here is a picture of my mom. 

Just kidding, but by the way she sings along and dances to Mama Mia in our living room, one could easily assume that she was a coauthor to the music. 

On with the post!

In this weeks episode of Billy does Vegas, Billy watches as a narcoleptic car driver gets rescued by a gothic male prostitute, and subsequently picks up said prostitute outside of a Home Depot. 

I wish I was kidding, and I only made up one detail in that last sentence. 

In all honesty, I was sitting at a traffic light when the left turn signal changed from red to green to yellow, and then to red again.  I honked several times before I realized that I couldn’t see a head in that vehicle.  I was about to jump out and investigate when a man, whose hair was the same color as watermelon skittles, wearing a black cape with black denim shorts and Frankenstein shoes, ran into the intersection and began knocking on the window. 

The man in the car instantly woke up, and returned his seat to the upright position.  Considering that our respective vehicles pulled up to the intersection at the same time I’m not entirely sure how he was able to fall asleep so quickly, or so soundly.  The gothic man then hoped in the front seat, and the two drove off.  

It really is a story as old as time.  Man falls asleep in car.  Man gets rescued by another man, and the two live happily ever after, that is until Man 2’s pimp realized that he’s lost out on a niche market, and hires the mob (which I assume we still have) to retrieve his money maker. 

Ohhhhh, I almost forgot.  While this was happening a 40 year old man (whose skin was going on 75—it was kind of that consistency of oranges that you buy from Costco with numerous good intentions, but only eat one, while the rest of the box doesn’t so much mold as it turns into nerf material) wearing only shorts ran across the street pushing a purloined shopping cart over loaded with alcohol, while a woman chased him (she wasn’t screaming, so I assume it was some type of Bonny and Clyde thing…but less lucrative).

All I can say is that I have yet to be bored in this city.